AllFreeNovel
Share Us
331
underwear to bathing her hot face, had occupied his thoughts so completely that nothing else had penetrated his dazed mind.
But now there were no tasks, no needs to be met, nothing between him and a wrenching sense of fear.
He stared at the squat little cabin. It sat low to the ground, huddled against the darkened mesa. Stray remnants of moonlight caught on the broken windows, glazed their jagged peaks. Torn, dirty curtains hung limply behind the craggy mountains of glass. The acrid smell of smoke rode the crisp nighttime air.
They shouldn't be here.
That was the thought he'd kept at bay through sheer force of will since Lainie was stung.
It came at him now hard, crippling in its intensity. Guilt exploded in his chest, left him reeling and sick to his stomach.
This cabin was miles off course. Around noon, he'd turned them slightly south, so slightly she hadn't even noticed.
Of course she hadn't noticed. She'd trusted him, and because of that, she lay dying in a seedy cabin in the middle of nowhere.
A low, agonized moan slipped into the night.
The sound jerked Killian out of his stupor. Cursing silently, he raced toward the cabin and flung the door open. It crashed into the wall behind him, rattling the timbers, raining dust from cracks in the sod roof.
"I'm right here, baby," he murmured, sloshing the bowl of water down on the wobbly bedside table.
She thrashed weakly on the bed, twisting the covers around her body. Her eyes were closed. Damp, spiked black lashes fluttered against ashen, blue-tinged cheeks. Her lips were pale, the color of sun-bleached bones. A lilac-gray tinge darkened the hollows beneath her eyes.
332
333
He plunged the dishrag in the water and twisted the excess moisture from the fabric, then gently pressed it to her brow. His fingertips brushed her skin, felt the fire-hot temperature. God, she was so hot....
She made a throaty, choked sound of pain.
He stared down at her, feeling utterly, desperately hopeless. The emotions swamped him, left him weak and shaking and more afraid than ever before in his life. It was all because of him that she was here, that she was dying.
He'd turned away from the Rock. God help him, he'd wanted her all to himself....
He squeezed his eyes shut and bowed his head. Pain twisted his heart until every breath hurt. "Take me instead, God. Please ... don't let her die...."
He took her hand; it lay limp and unresponsive, the skin painfully hot against his. He had a sudden, desperate urge to sweep her into his arm
s and hold her tightly, so tightly she could never get free. Instead, he leaned forward and kissed her fevered temple, lingering, breathing in the scent of her.
She didn't respond, and gradually he drew back. With a tired sigh, he remoistened the washrag, barely hearing the splash of the water on the metal bowl. Pressing it to her brow again, he closed his eyes. "Jesus, Lainie," he whispered harshly, "don't leave me. I'll get you to the Rock. I'll get you home, just don't die on me."
He hunched forward, pressing an elbow into the flimsy, dust-scented mattress, rubbing his tired face. Tears scalded his eyes. Suddenly the brevity of their time together overwhelmed him. He'd fooled himself somehow into thinking he could steal some portion of her life, that he could purloin time that wasn't meant to be.
But God had answered him with devastating speed. Lainie wasn't supposed to be his. He wasn't meant to
find this kind of love and caring in his life. He'd given up that right a long time ago, when another woman had died, all alone, waiting for the man who'd promised to love, honor, and cherish her, waiting for the husband who wouldn't return in time.
How had he forgotten? He'd known that Lainie was the only chance he'd have to redeem his lost soul ... and he'd thrown it away, been exactly the worthless, selfish man he'd always been.
The realization sickened and shamed him. He hadn't changed. After all the talk of redemption and second chances, he'd proven himself to be unworthy of the opportunity. The woman of his dreams, of his heart, had asked only one thing of him, and he'd cheated her.
Why had he turned away from the goddamn Rock?
"I wouldn't do it again."
