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"Its Christmas Eve. Youre my family. "
She wanted to lean forward and kiss him, but she felt awkward, unsure. After all those years of living and loving together, they were separate
now. "Habit isnt enough," she said softly.
"No. "
"Is it a start?"
Before he could answer, Lauren bounded back into the room, smiling brightly, looking like a girl with her whole life in front of her. "He misses me," she said, sliding into her seat and scooting up to the table.
Angie and Conlan immediately went back to playing cards. For the next hour, they all talked about things that didnt matter.
It was the best night Angie had had in years. So much so that when midnight came and Lauren announced that she was going to bed, Angie actually tried to talk her out of it. She didnt want this evening to end.
"Ange," Conlan said, "let the poor girl go to bed. Its late. How can Santa come if shes not asleep?"
Lauren laughed. It was a young, girlish sound full of hope. It did Angies heart good to hear it. "Well, good night," Lauren said, surging toward Angie, hugging her. "Merry Christmas," she whispered. When she drew back she added, "This was my best Christmas Eve ever. " Then she flashed a smile at Conlan and left the room.
Angie sat back in her chair. With Lauren gone, the room felt too quiet.
"How are you going to make it through her pregnancy?" Conlan asked the question gently, as if the words caused him pain. "How will you handle watching her belly grow and feeling the baby kick and shopping for onesies?"
"It will hurt. "
"Yes. "
Her gaze was steady, even if her voice wasnt. "Not being there for her would hurt more. "
"Weve been through this before. "
Angie thought about that, about them. Theyd played cards with Sarah Dekker, too, and watched television with her and bought her new clothes. But it had always been the unborn child that connected them. "No," she finally said. "Not this. "
"Hope always came easily to you, Angie. It was part of what ruined us. You dont know how to give up. "
"Hope was all I had. "
"No. You had me. "
The truth of it settled heavily on her heart. "Lets not look in the rearview mirror tonight. I love you. Can that be enough for now?"
"For tonight, you mean?"
She nodded. "Alcoholics take one day at a time. Maybe old lovers can do the same thing. "
At that, he leaned toward her, put his hand around the back of her neck, and pulled her toward him. Their gazes met; hers was overbright with unshed tears, his was dark with worry.
He kissed her. It was everything she needed, that kiss, and more than shed imagined. The next thing she knew, he had her in his arms and was carrying her up the stairs. He started to go to Angies old bedroom.
She laughed. "The big bedroom. Were the grown-ups now. "
He pivoted, pushed through the door, and kicked it shut behind him.
THE NEXT MORNING WHEN ANGIE WOKE UP, HER WHOLE body ached. She rolled onto her side and snuggled up to Conlan, kissing his stubbled jawline. "Merry Christmas," she murmured, moving her hand along his naked chest.
He blinked awake. "Merry Christmas. "
For what seemed an eternity, she gazed at him, her nipples pressed against his chest, her body ripe with a longing so sharp and sweet it hurt. She could feel their hearts beating together again. When she kissed him, it was with everything she had, all the good times and the bad and the in-between. It was a kiss that peeled back the hard layer of years and made her feel young again, carefree and hopeful.
