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"Its obscene, isnt it?" Mira said, leaning close, laughing.
"Its beautiful," Lauren answered wistfully.
At the head of the table, Maria led them all in a prayer that ended with family blessings. Then she stood up. "It is my first Thanksgiving in Papas chair. " She paused, closed her eyes tightly. "Somewhere he is thinking how much he loves us all. "
When she opened her eyes, they were full of tears. "Eat," she said, sitting down abruptly. After a moment of silence, the conversations started up again.
Mira reached for the platter of sliced turkey meat and offered it to Lauren. "Here. Youth before beauty. " She laughed.
Lauren started with the turkey and didnt stop there. She filled her plate until it was heaped with food. Each bite was more delicious than the last.
"How are your college applications going?" Mira asked, taking a sip of white wine.
"Ive mailed them all out. " She tried to inject some enthusiasm in her voice. Only a week ago, she would have been pumped up about her applications. Scared of not getting in, perhaps, scared of being separated from David, but still excited about the future.
Not now.
"Where are you applying?"
"USC, UCLA, Pepperdine, Berkeley, UW, and Stanford," she said, sighing.
"Thats an impressive list. No wonder Angie is so proud of you. "
Lauren looked at Mira. "Shes proud of me?"
"She says so all the time. "
The thought of it was an arrow that pierced her chest. "Oh. "
Mira cut her turkey into bite-sized pieces. "I wish Id gone away to college. Maybe to Rice or Brown. But we didnt think like that in those days. At least, I didnt. Angie did. Then I met Vince and . . . you know. "
"What?"
"The plan was two years at the community college in Fircrest, then two years at Western. " She smiled. "In a way, it worked. I didnt count on eight years between my sophomore and junior years, but life follows its own plan. " She glanced across the room at the kids table.
"So a baby kept you out of college. "
Mira frowned. "What an odd way to phrase it. No, just slowed me down, thats all. "
After that, Lauren had trouble eating or talking or even smiling. She finished her meal--or pretended to-- then helped with the dishes like an automaton. All she could think about was the baby inside of her, how it would grow bigger and bigger and make her world smaller.
And all around her there was talk of children and babies and friends who were having both. It stopped when Angie was in the room, but the minute she left, the women started up with the kid talk again.
Lauren wished she could leave, just slip unnoticed into the night and disappear.
But that would be rude, and she was the type of girl who followed the rules and played nicely with others.
The kind of girl who let her boyfriend convince her that one time without a condom would be fine. Ill pull out, hed promised.
"Not fast enough," she muttered, taking her piece of pie into the living room.
Her mind was far away as she sat in the living room, tucked between Livvys little boys. She stared down at her untouched pie. One of the boys kept talking to her, asking her questions about toys shed never heard of and movies shed never seen. She couldnt answer any of his questions. Hell, she could hardly keep remembering to nod and smile and pretend she was listening. How could she possibly concentrate on a childs questions when now, this second, a human life was taking root inside her, growing with every beat of her heart? She touched her stomach, feeling how flat it was.
"Come with me. "
Lauren jerked her chin up, yanked her hand away from her belly.
Angie stood there, a plaid woolen blanket thrown over her shoulder. Without waiting for Lauren to answer, she turned and headed toward the sliding glass doors.
