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She sighed. What choice did she have, really? She was seventeen years old. Shed just sent out college applications and paid every dime she had for the privilege.
She was a teenager. She couldnt be a mother. God knew she understood about mommies who resented their babies. She didnt want to do that to a child. It was a painful legacy that shed hate to pass on.
And if she were going to take care of it--
Say it, her subconscious demanded. If you can think it, identify it.
And if she were going to have an abortion, should she tell David?
How could she not?
"Believe me," she whispered, seeing her breath in lacy white fronds, "hed rather not know. "
"What did you say?"
Lauren turned to Angie. "The truth is . . . things are bad at home. My mom is in love with yet another loser-- big surprise--and shes hardly working. And were . . . fighting about stuff. "
"My mom and I went at it pretty good when I was your age. Im sure--"
"Believe me. Its not the same thing. My mom isnt like yours. " Lauren felt that loneliness well up in her throat again. She looked away before Angie could see it in her eyes. "You know how we live. "
Angie moved closer. "You told me your mom is young, right? Thirty-four? That means she was just a kid when she had you. Thats a tough road to walk. Im sure shes doing the best she can. " She touched Laurens shoulder. "Sometimes we have to forgive the people we love, even if were mad as hell. Thats just how it is. "
"Yeah," Lauren said dully.
"Thanks for being honest with me," Angie said. "Its hard to talk about family problems. "
And there it was--the feeling worse when you thought youd hit the bottom. Lauren stared out at the darkness, unable to look at Angie. She tried to think of something to say but nothing came to her except a soft, thready "Thanks. It helps to talk. "
Angie put an arm around her, squeezing gently. "Thats what friends are for. "
EIGHTEEN
SO HE STOPPED LOVING YOU? For the whole of that night, Angie found herself thinking about Laurens question. It stayed with her, haunted her. By morning it was all she could think about.
So he stopped loving you?
He had never said that to Angie. In all the months it had taken to dismantle their marriage, neither one of them had said, "I dont love you anymore. "
Theyd stopped loving their life together.
That wasnt the same thing at all.
The tiny seed of what if took root, blossomed.
What if he still loved her? Or if he could love her again? Once she had that thought, nothing else mattered.
She called her sister. "Hey, Livvy. I need you to work for me today," she said without even bothering to say hello.
"Its Thanksgiving weekend. Why should I--"
"Im going to see Conlan. "
"Ill be there. "
Sisters. Thank God for them.
Now it was almost noon and Angie was on the outskirts of Seattle. As always, the traffic was bumper to bumper in this city that had built its freeways too many years ago.
