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“Last night I had the dream again—only I wasn’t alone on the beach anymore. I was sitting with Liam, watching our grandchildren play in the water. ” She gazed up at him. “I love him more than you can imagine, Jules. I only hope it’s not too late to tell him that. ”
“I know he loves you, Kayla. ”
She felt an aching sadness for all the things that could have been, for all the things she’d lost while waiting for what could never be. “There is no Kayla, Jules. There never was. And you were never Melvin. ”
His voice was thick. “It sounds like you’re saying good-bye. ”
“Oh, Jules, we said good-bye a long, long time ago. I’m only just now getting around to leaving. ” She caressed his cheek, let her fingers linger there for a moment, then slowly she drew back her hand and headed for the door.
“Wait! You can’t just walk out of here. The press is waiting at the front door. I’ll go make a statement, then I’ll pick you up at the back door and take you …” He paused, said softly, “Home. ”
She turned back to him. “What will you tell them?”
He looked sad. “I’ll tell them the story’s over. That Sleeping Beauty found her Prince. They might … follow you for a while. ”
She smiled. “And cover my glamorous life? After ten minutes, they’ll realize that the ordinary life of a small-town doctor’s wife is hardly front-page news. ”
“I’ll be right back with the limo. I’ll meet you around back. ” He gave her a last, heavy look, then turned and left.
Mikaela reached for her suitcase, then decided to leave it in the closet. It was too unwieldy for her to carry, and it would only arouse suspicion. She called and canceled the cab. Empty-handed, she left her room. She kept her head down, and her side brushed against the wall as she made her slow, limping way down the hospital corridors.
When she opened the door, the first thing she noticed was the evergreen smell of Christmas. Green pine needles and fresh snow. A dark purple sky filled with the first few evening stars made her feel small. She smiled; that was what she expected from the sky. All her life, she’d gone out at night and stood beneath all that blue velvet darkness. It was her temple, the true house of her God, and it never failed to remind her of her place.
She liked feeling small. It had been the wanting to feel big that had led her to Julian.
The limousine pulled up, the door opened, and she got inside.
Chapter Twenty-eight
The limo crawled through town at the posted speed limit of ten miles per hour. Outside, there were people everywhere, moving in gray clouds of exhaled breath, walking beneath banners that read: WELCOME TO GLACIER DAYS.
Julian couldn’t take his eyes off Mikaela, although she rarely looked at him. She directed the driver out of town, onto a back road where trees outnumbered houses a thousand to one. They turned into a driveway, passed beneath an arch announcing ANGEL FALLS RANCH.
Acres of white pastures rolled away from the road on either side, bracketed by four-rail fencing. Beneath a huge old tree, a dozen horses stood, their big butts turned into the wind.
Mikaela touched the smoked-glass windows. “Hi, babies,” she murmured to the horses. “I missed you. ”
At last the house came into view; it was a beautiful log str
ucture set against the serrated black mountains. White icicle Christmas lights hung from the eaves and made the house look like a princess’s castle.
The car pulled up in front of the house and stopped. The driver—Julian could never remember his name—hurried around to their door.
“Thank you,” she said to the young man as she got out.
Julian realized that not once in all these weeks had he offered the driver those simple words. He got out of the car and stood beside Kayla. She shivered with cold and he put an arm around her.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” she said, speaking of the house.
He looked down at her, only her. “The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. ”
The driver got back into the car and shut the door, giving them privacy.
Kayla turned to him. “Come in with me, Jules. Meet your daughter. ”
He saw the sorrow in her eyes, and he knew that she understood what hadn’t yet been said. Still, as always, she expected the best of him. It was, he knew now, one of the things he loved most about her. In all the world, she was the only one who had ever wanted him to reach for the man he could be.
He hated to hurt her again, to remind her of the painful truth. “You know I can’t. ”
