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Julian frowned. “What do you mean? I don’t have any other children. ”
“Okay, my half brother. ”
“Jesus,” he whispered. “No one told me there was another one. He’s Kayla’s … and Liam’s?”
She nodded. “His name is Bret. We saw Mom today for the first time since she woke up. She didn’t recognize us. It was bad. Bret … ran away. ”
Julian wanted to help her, say something that would ease her sadness, but he didn’t even know her, couldn’t possibly understand what she needed. No, that wasn’t true. He knew she needed her father.
Liam would know what to do. This moment, and a thousand others like it, had made Liam this girl’s father. There was no way now to turn Julian into that which he was not. “It’s not your fault. Your dad will find him. ”
“Yeah …” She gazed up at him, saying nothing else.
Julian wished he could look into J. C. ’s sad eyes and see his own future, but all he saw was a screwed-up past. “Your dad’s the real thing. He’ll find your brother. Trust me. ”
“Trust you?” Slowly she moved toward him. “Did you ever think about me?”
He knew when a lie was called for, and though he knew a better man would take the high road, he lied. “All the time. ” He flashed her a nervous smile. “You look exactly like your mom when I first met her. You are the two most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. ”
He could see that she didn’t believe him, and worse, that the lie had hurt her, and so he gave her the only gift he could. For once he told the truth: “No, not really. When your mom left me, I … moved on. I loved her—and I could have loved you—but I moved on instead. I’m sorry, but your mom … and your dad love you. And boy, when Kayla loves, it’s one of those out-of-the-ballpark kind of things. ”
She turned away from him and went to stand at the window.
He followed her. He wanted to touch her shoulders, but he didn’t dare. Instead he stared at their reflections, side by side in the tarnished windowpanes. “I’m sorry. For all of it. The reporters, the years I stayed away, the letters I didn’t write. I’m sorry. ”
Then, with his daughter’s silent tears glittering in the windowpane between them, Julian caught a glimpse of his own empty soul. It happened fast, came and went as quickly as a breath taken and released, but he knew he’d never forget.
Liam tried not to think of everything that could go wrong on this dark, December night when God had seen fit to drop the temperature four degrees in the last thirty minutes. Or that Bret was alone out there, his precious nine-year-old son, still more baby than young man, out there all alone, on this coldest of evenings. Did Bret know how dangerous it was to walk along the side of the road when the streets were icy … when visibility was cut in half by the falling snow?
These were lessons Liam didn’t remember passing down to his son, and now his not having done so preyed on his fraying nerves.
He kept glancing at the outside temperature gauge he’d had installed on the dashboard. It was thirty degrees outside, as cold as it got in this part of the world. And he was out there—
Stop it.
He’s all right. He’s just hiding somewhere, sitting someplace where it’s warm and dry—
Thinking about why his mom didn’t recognize him, wondering why his daddy hadn’t told him the truth.
“Hang on, Bretster,” Liam whispered aloud. His hands were curled so tightly around the steering wheel, he wouldn’t have been surprised to see ten indentations when he let go. He leaned forward, peering through the obscured windshield. It was snowing so hard now, the wipers were having trouble keeping up.
The highway was empty, just as the medical building parking lot had been. Liam had wasted precious minutes searching the hospital—he’d been unable to believe that Bret would leave—but eventually he’d been forced to accept the fact that his son had been so hurt and afraid that he’d run. Without thinking, probably without even
feeling the stinging bite of cold as he pushed through the double doors.
At first, anyway.
By now Bret would be freezing. He’d run off without his coat.
The car phone rang.
Liam’s heart skipped a beat as he punched the “Send” button. “Did you find him?” he asked whoever was calling.
“No. ” It was Jacey’s soft, quavering voice. “Everyone is looking, though. Grandma’s at home, waiting for a call. I’m waiting at the hospital, in case he comes back here. I thought—”
“I know, honey, but we’d better stay off the line. ”
“Dad?” She paused, and he knew everything she was feeling. “I’m sorry. ”
