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There it is.
A mound in the earth, covered with stones.
“Mommy,” Alice says, pointing to the rocks. It is a word she thought she’d forgotten. Once, long ago, her mommy had kissed Alice the way Jewlee does . . . and tucked her into a bed that smelled like flowers.
Or maybe these are dreams. She can’t be sure. She remembers a glimpse, a moment: Her bending down, kissing Alice, whispering Be good for Mommy. Remember Her.
“Oh, baby . . .” Jewlee pulls Alice into her arms and holds her tightly, rocking her back and forth.
Alice wishes her eyes would water like a real girl’s, but there is something Wrong with her. Her heart hurts so much she can hardly stand it. “Love Jewlee,” she says.
Jewlee kisses Alice, just the way the mommy used to. “I love you, too.”
Alice smiles. She is safe now. She closes her eyes and falls asleep. In her dreams she is two girls—big girl Alice who knows how to count with her fingers and use her words to make herself understood. On the other side of the river is baby Brittany, wearing the pants called diapers and playing with her red ball. The old mommy is there with her, waving good-bye.
Alice knows she is sleeping. She knows, too, that in the world where she is only Alice, she is in Jewlee’s arms, and she is safe.
JULIA STOOD BENEATH THE MAPLE TREE IN SEALTH PARK WITH ALICE asleep in her arms. No one had told her where to go or what to do after the Search and Rescue team dropped them off at the fire station, and yet somehow she and George had ended up here, like shells washed ashore, at this place where the search had begun. The whop-whop-whop of the helicopters and the peal of the sirens were finally fading away.
“What now?” George asked, looking dazed and confused, as if he weren’t really waiting for an answer.
“I don’t know. Ellie is going back to the crime scene tomorrow with all kinds of experts.”
“Did you hear what he did to my baby? How he tied her like a dog and—”
“Stop.” Julia turned to him, seeing the pain in his eyes, the tears. They didn’t have all the facts yet—there were tests to run and results to wait for—but all of them knew the truth.
George hadn’t done this to his family.
“I’m sorry, George.” She wanted to say more but couldn’t. She felt as if she were made of chalk and crumbling away bit by bit.
“I guess we’ll talk later. When it all . . . fades.”
“I don’t think it will fade for us, George, but yes, later would be good. Right now I better get my girl home.” Despite her best intentions, her voice caught on that. My girl. “Our girl, I mean.”
He reached out cautiously, touched Alice’s back. His dark hand looked huge between her shoulder blades. “I never stopped loving her.”
Julia closed her eyes.
She couldn’t think about this now or she’d fall apart. With a mumbled apology, she turned away from him and walked briskly toward her truck.
She was almost to the sidewalk when she saw Max.
Light from the nearby street lamp cascaded down on him, made his hair look silvery white. His face was all shadows.
Slowly, he crossed the street toward her. His boot heels were loud on the worn, bumpy asphalt; each step matched the beating of her heart.
He moved in close, the way lovers did. “Are you okay?”
Try as she might, she couldn’t stop the tears from flooding her eyes. “No.”
He took Alice from her and put the sleeping child in her car seat. Then he did the only thing he could do: he took Julia in his arms and let her cry.
BY THE TIME ELLIE FINISHED WRITING HER REPORT AND SENDING OUT faxes and e-mailing the right agencies, she was exhausted.
She pushed away from her desk, sighing heavily. It was only ten o’clock, but it felt much later.
There was nothing more she could do tonight, so she got up slowly and walked through the station, turning off lights as she went. The off-site 911 service was probably besieged with questions. It was something she’d deal with tomorrow.
