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The girl was awake and watching her. She’d been asleep when the door opened, Ellie was certain of it. “Hello, little one,” she whispered, flinching when she heard the low, answering growl.
“I would never hurt you,” she said, backing toward the door. “I only wanted to help. I wish . . .”
What did she wish? She didn’t know. When she thought about it, that was the problem with her life, now and always; she’d never known what to wish for until it was too late.
She wanted to promise that they’d find the girl’s family, but she didn’t believe it. Not anymore.
LIKE A RIVERBANK IN A SPRING THAW, THE EROSION OF JULIA’S SELF-CONFIDENCE was a steady, plucking movement. No instant of it could really be seen—no giant chunks of earth fell away—but the end result was a change in the course of things, a new direction. More and more, she found herself retreating to the safe world of her notes. There, on those thin blue lines, she analyzed everything. While she still believed that Alice understood at least at the toddler level—a few words, here and there—she was making no real progress in getting the girl to speak. The authorities were breathing down her neck. Every day, Dr. Kletch left a message on the machine. It was always the same. You’re not helping this child enough, Dr. Cates. Let us step in.
This afternoon, when she’d put Alice down for her nap, Julia had knelt by the bed, stroking the girl’s soft black hair, patting her back, thinking, How can I help you?
She’d felt the sting of tears in her eyes; before she knew it, they were falling freely down her cheeks.
She’d had to go to the bathroom and redo her makeup for the press conference. She’d only just finished her mascara when a car drove up outside. She was halfway down the stairs when she ran into Ellie, coming up.
“You okay?” Ellie asked, frowning.
“I’m fine. She’s asleep.”
“Well. Peanut’s waiting in the car. I’ll stay here today.”
Julia nodded. She grabbed her briefcase and left the house.
They drove the mile and a half to town in a heavy rain. The drops on the windshield and roof were so loud that conversation was impossible. Rain seemed to be boiling on the hood.
While Peanut parked the car, Julia opened an umbrella and ran for the station. She was hanging up her coat and walking to the podium when it struck her.
Every seat was empty.
No one had come.
Cal sat at the dispatch desk, looking at her with pity.
She glanced at the clock. The press conference should have started five minutes ago. “Maybe—”
The door burst open. Peanut stood there, wearing her department issue slicker, rain dripping down her face. “Where the hell is everyone?”
“No one
showed,” Cal said.
Peanut’s fleshy face seemed to fall at that. Her eyes rounded, first in understanding, then in resignation. She went over to where Cal stood and tucked in close to him. He took hold of her hand. “This is bad.”
“Very bad,” Julia agreed.
For the next thirty minutes they waited in terrible silence, jumping every time the phone rang. By 4:45 no one could pretend that it wasn’t over.
Julia stood. “I need to get back, Peanut. Alice will be waking up soon.” She reached for her briefcase and followed Peanut into the car.
Outside, the rain had stopped. The sky looked gray and bruised. Exactly how she felt. She knew she should made small talk with Peanut, at least answer her endless string of questions, but she didn’t feel like it.
Peanut turned onto Main Street. After a quick “Aha!” she pulled into one of the slanted parking stalls in front of the Rain Drop Diner. “I promised Cal I’d get him dinner. It’ll only take a jiff.” She was gone before Julia could answer.
Julia got out of the car. She’d intended to get herself a cup of coffee, but now that she was here, she couldn’t seem to move. Across the street was Sealth Park. It was where Alice had first appeared. The maple tree, now bare, sent empty branches reaching for the darkening sky. The forest in the distance was too dark to see.
How long were you out there?
Julia felt someone beside her. She pulled her thoughts back to the now and turned, expecting to see Peanut’s smiling face.
