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“Go see her,” Eric said softly.
Dean changed into a pair of Levis and a T-shirt. At the front door; he slipped on his boat shoes and grabbed his ten-speed from its resting place beneath the eaves. There was no doubt that in this week of June, with the sun shining brightly on the islands, the ferry lines would be endless. Bikes always got on first.
He pedaled down the short, winding hill to the dock and got lucky. A boat was loading. He got right on.
He didnt go up top. Instead, he stood with his bike at the bow of the boat, barely noticing the cars streaming into lines behind him.
On Summer Island, he didnt even wave to Sister Helen as he bicycled past. By the time he swooped onto the Bridges heavily shaded driveway, he was sweating and out of breath. At the top of the yard, he jumped off the bike and let it clatter to the ground.
Then he stopped. For the first time, he wondered what in the hell he was doing, running toward his first love as if eleven years hadnt passed, as if hed seen her Yesterday . . .
But theyd been apart for all of their adulthood; he had no way of knowing whether shed thought of him At all.
Their last day together came at him in a rush of images and phrases.
The sky had been robins-egg blue. Strangely, he remembered looking up, seeing the white trail from a passing jet. Hed been about to point it out to Ruby, to start their familiar “if I were on that plane, where would I be going?” daydream.
But when hed turned to her; hed seen what he should have noticed before.
Shed been crying.
That was not so unusual, of course; those were the days when Ruby had cried all the time.
The difference was, this time, she wouldnt let him get near her. He couldnt remember precisely what hed said, how hed tried uselessly to comfort her. What he did recall was how she finally stilled, and the sight ofRuby, his Ruby, looking pale and cold had scared him.
I had sex with a boy last night. Shed said it without preamble, as if shed wanted to wound him with her confession.
He had pulled the whole, sordid story out of her; one painful syllable at a time, and when she was finished, he knew all the facts, but they hadnt added up to a whole truth he could understand.
If hed been older; more sexually experienced, he would have known the question to ask, the only one that mattered: Why? But hed been seventeen and a virgin himself. All hed cared about was the promise he and Ruby had made . . . to wait for each other until marriage.
Anger and hurt had overwhelmed him. Shed lied to him, and she hadnt loved him as much as hed loved her. Hed felt foolish and used. Hed waited desperately for her to throw herself at his feet, to beg for forgiveness, but shed just stood there, close enough to touch and yet so far away he couldnt see her clearly. Or maybe it was his tears that were blurring the world, turning her into a girl hed never seen before.
Go ahead, shed said, staring dully up at him. Go. Its over.
Hed had to leave fast-before she could see that he was crying. Hed turned away from her and run back to his bike. Hed pedaled hard, trying to outdistance pain, but it had raged inside of him, thumping with every beat of his heart. Everywhere hed looked, hed seen her . . . In the shade of Miss McGintys oak tree, where hed read Shakespeares sonnets to Ruby the previous week . . . in the tree-lined darkness of the state parks driveway, where theyd once set up their lemonade stand. And finally, on his parents land, where hed kissed her for the first time.
At home, hed picked up the phone and called his mother. Within hours, hed been on a seaplane, heading for Seattle. By the next day, hed been on his way to boarding school back east.
Whatever should have been said or done between them had been lost.
Dean released his breath in a steady, even stream. There was no turning back now.
He walked down the path and stepped up onto the porch. After another quick breath, he knocked.
And she answered.
The minute he saw her, he understood what had been missing from his life. It was hokey, he knew, and sentimental and sappy, but that didnt make it any less true. What hed been longing for; without even realizing it, had been that elusive, magical mixture of friendship and passion that hed only ever found with her.
“Ruby,” he whispered. It actually hurt to say her name. She was so beautiful that for a second he couldnt breathe.
“Dean,” she said, her eyes widening.
He didnt know what to say. He felt like a seventeen year-old kid again, tongue-tied in front of the prom queen. He was trying like hell to appear casual, but it was difficult. He was sweating suddenly and his throat was painfully dry.
All he could think was, Rubys home, and she was standing in front of him and he didnt want to say the wrong thing, but he couldnt imagine what the right thing was. Hed dreamed of seeing her for so long, but now . . . the moment felt spun from sugar, so fragile a soft breeze could shatter it. “I . . . Uh . . . I came home to see Eric . . . you probably heard about that. ”
“How is he?” Her voice was barely audible.
