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“What?”
“That day you came back. Jesus . . . ” He closed his eyes. “I should have dropped to my knees and begged you to stay. In my heart, I knew it was what I wanted, but Id heard about you and that guy, and all I could think of was me. How would it look if I took you back after that?” He laughed, a bitter, harsh sound. "Me, worrying about that, after the way Id treated you. It makes me sick. And I paid for it, Nora. For eight long years, I went to sleep every night alone. And I missed you.
Nora wanted to weep at what theyd thrown away.
“You should have called. I was alone, too. ” She paused, then said, “Its too bad. ”
“Yeah. ”
She reached out, brushed the hair from his eyes in a gesture as natural to her as breathing. “But youve gone on now. Married. Im happy for that. ” She realized how true it was. Those few small words-Im sorry-had released her, turned Rand into what he was: her first love. Her great love, perhaps, but there would be another one for her someday. She smiled and arched one eyebrow.
And are you being a good boy, Randall?"
He laughed, easy with her now. “Even a stupid dog doesnt get hit by the same bus twice. ”
“Good. You deserve to be happy. ”
“So do you. ”
She flinched, unable to help it. “You screwed around on your wife. I abandoned my children. Its not the same thing. ”
He gazed at her. She saw the heavy lines around his mouth and eyes, grooves worn by years in the sun and wind. “I told Ruby the truth. ”
“About what?”
“The truth. About us. ”
Nora felt sick. “That was a foolish thing to do. ”
“I thought youd be pleased. Its something I should have done a long time ago. ”
"Perhaps, but when you didnt-when I didnt-we buried that little piece of family history. You shouldnt have dug it up. It wont make a difference now.
“You deserved it, Nora,” he said. “After all these years, you deserved it. ”
“Oh, Rand. She believed in you. This will break her heart. ”
“You know what I learned from us, Nora?” He touched her face, smiled tenuously. “Love doesnt die. Not real love. And thats what Rubys going to discover. Shes always loved you. I just gave her a reason to admit it. ”
Nora couldnt help thinking that, for a grown man, he was incredibly naive.
Chapter Seventeen
After two hours of waiting in the line for the ferry with two hundred eager tourists and a few beleaguered locals, Ruby remembered why shed been so eager to move off island. Timing your life around a state-operated transportation system was miserable.
The last thing she needed was time to think. The conversation with Caroline repeated relentlessly through her mind. Even when she turned on the minivans cheesy radio, she heard the singers" voices moaning the words Everyone knew.
“Except me,” she said bitterly.
She still couldnt get over that.
Finally, the ferry pulled in-late, as usual-and she drove aboard, following the orange-vested womans directions to a spot at the very back of the lane. As the ferry pulled out, she adjusted her seat to a more comfortable position and closed her eyes. Maybe sleep would help.
Everyone knew.
She opened her eyes and stared up at the vans puffy, velourlike ceiling. She still felt shaky, as if the foundation of her life had turned to warm Jell-O and was slowly letting her sink.
I slept with other women.
