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"How did you know," he said with a soft smile, "that I always want to talk about her? No one ever really asks." He leaned back in his chair. "She was the most incredible woman I'd ever met, and I was crazy in love with her. Before I met her, I was . . . selfish and rich
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and thoughtless. She made me question everything I thought I knew about right and wrong, and after I'd asked the questions, nothing was ever the same again. Death ..." He raised his palms in a casual gesture. "I would have died to spend a day with her, and God gave me years."
"How did you know you loved her?"
"How do you know it's raining out? Or that you're hungry or cold or tired? Darwin thought it was instinct at its sharpest-nature selecting a mate for survival of the species-and maybe he was right. But when it hits you, it doesn't feel like science. It feels like magic."
Selena remembered the first time she'd heard Ian's voice, the first time she'd looked in his blue eyes, the first time she'd felt his touch. Every memory with him, every moment, felt steeped in magic.
"The way you feel about Ian," he said quietly.
She laughed. She was unable to hide her thoughts the way healthy people could. Every thought, every emotion, felt larger than life to Selena; they filled her to bursting, made her laugh when no one laughed and cry when no one else cried. It was a simple fact. "Yes ,.." She loved Ian, loved him with all her heart and soul. But was it enough? Lately, she wasn't so sure. At least, it didn't seem to be enough for Ian.
"Out with it, Selena. I can see your mind working."
"This word ... husband. It troubles Ian much."
One eyebrow winged upward. "That's an understatement."
Sarcasm; she ignored it. "What is a husband? Exactly."
He blew out his breath in a loud sigh that ended in another rattling cough. "Well, on the most superficial level, you know that a man and a woman can marry. Yes?"
"That was the next word I was going to seek a definition of. Marry."
He steepled his fingers and rested his chin on his fingertips,
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peering at her. "Marriage is a promise before God to stay together until 'death do you part.' "
"So if I have a husband, it means I have vowed to God to live with that man forever." "In a nutshell."
She frowned. "We must live in a nutshell? I thought-"
He laughed. "In a nutshell means ... exactly right." "Oh. So Ian is right to be afraid of a husband of mine." His smile faded. "Yes." "How could I forget such a man?" "I don't know-stranger things have happened. But I know that you weren't wearing a wedding ring when you came to us. All married women wear wedding rings to symbolize their vows." Selena brightened. 'Truly?"
'Truly." He smiled again. "It's something that women devised to wheedle money from their betrothed."
Selena smiled at him. "I am much relieved. This proves that I am not a wife to some husband."
"Well, it's an indication. Proof would require something more ... physical."
"I misunderstand. Such as a marking of some kind?" His lips twitched. "No, tattooing of spouses hasn't caught on yet. Men mark their territory in a more ... romantic way."
"Ah. Kissing." She nodded. "Ian said that kissing me would be dishonorable."
"Kissing and ... other things. Things that men and women do in bed together. And I will not tell you any more regardless of how prettily you ask."
Selena felt very smart at the moment. "In bed. Yes. You mean a virgin."
Johann took a quick sip of coffee, covering a smile. "A virgin is not a wife."
"Ian must find out if I am a virgin, then." Johann spit up his coffee. It was a long moment before he spoke, and his mouth twitched suspiciously the
