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"Define honorable."
"Quite simply, honorable means moral, living your life so as not to willfully hurt people. To keep promises that you have made and never lie."
"And you are not honorable?"
He snorted derisively. "No. In my life, I have been inordinately dishonorable. I've done things designed to
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hurt people, and keeping promises was never my strongest trait."
Her voice fell to a whisper. "Why do you tell me such things?"
He leaned closer to her, so close he could lose himself in the mysterious darkness of her eyes. "As a warning, Selena. I don't want you to idolize me."
She laughed unexpectedly. It was vaguely irritating how funny she found his statement. "I do not idolize you, Ian. I feel love for you. I believe there is a most profound difference."
He felt like a fool, and damned if it didn't feel good. "Must you always say what's on your mind?"
She touched his cheek, a lingering caress. "I cannot speak what is on your mind."
"Ah, Selena." He sighed. She stared up at him, smiling, her face streaked with tears and sand, her hair clotted with leaves and pine needles. That absurd necklace around her throat. She had never looked more disarm-ingly beautiful. He realized in that second that he'd never understood beauty before, never revered it as he did in this moment. She was beautiful on the inside, in her soul. "You are ... perfect," he whispered.
"No. I am damaged."
He could have kicked himself for what he had taught her. "You are all that a person strives to be, Selena. Good, kind, caring, loving, honest. Don't let the world-or me-steal that optimism from your heart."
She pressed toward him. "You think such things can be stolen. It is childish, Ian. Silly."
"But-"
"And you are honorable. You became a doctor to save people's lives. This must be honor. You touched me when you were afraid to, and this surely is honor." She pressed closer, close enough for a kiss. He felt the whisper-soft flutter of her breath against his lips, and it made him ache for more. "We are the same, you and I."
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The moment mesmerized him. She mesmerized him. "What do you mean?"
"Perhaps I was a bad woman before my brain damage. But I do not care what I was, I care only what I will be. The future is more important than the past."
"The future." He whispered the awesome word. Ah, the hope, the need. For years he hadn't allowed himself to think of tomorrow, let alone whatever came after that. And now here was this exquisite woman, telling him to believe in a future, to reach for it and believe in it. To believe in himself.
"I will make a begin with you, Ian." She gave him a heartbreakingly earnest look and got to her knees, taking his hands in hers. "I shall be honest and honorable-always. Will you vow the same?"
He got to his knees beside her. "Being honest is easy. Being honorable is damned hard work."
Her gaze didn't waver. "I shall not fail."
Fear washed through him, then an exhilarating sense of hope. She was right; he knew it. He'd always known it. Honor, morality, optimism, they were all choices. Long ago, he'd made the wrong choices, taken the wrong road.
Did he have the strength to change his course?
"This is not so hard, Ian. Just a promise to try."
He knew he would fail; he always failed. But right now, in this magical moment, he couldn't deny her, couldn't deny himself. It was his last, best hope for his soul. "For you, Selena. I'll try."
"Psst."
The lisping sound seemed to come at Ian from a great distance away, floating in the darkness of his slumber. He turned slightly, pressed his face tighter into the feather pillow.
