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“Why?” she finally asks.
“Why, what?”
“Why did you do this for me?” She meets my eyes. “Guilt?”
“No.” I shake my head, and she cocks her head as she assesses my face.
She’s scrutinizing me, trying to figure me out. I have no doubt she will. Even if I haven’t myself. Payton gets me. At first, I hated it. But now? I don’t know. I just know I don’t want to go back.
“It wasn’t really because of guilt,” I allow.
“Not really?” She lifts a brow. “That’s not a denial.”
Her nose scrunches, and I know she’s thinking about what to say. Whether she should be upset or not.
This isn’t going as planned.
Before she can speak, I move closer.
I’m on eye level with her from where I am perched on the floor.
“This has nothing to do with guilt,” I respond, firmer so she won’t get the wrong idea this time.
“Then why?”
“Because . . .” I run a palm down my face and groan. “Goddammit, Payton. Because I wanted to.”
“Why?” she presses, unrelenting. It’s one of the things I like about her. Just not right now. At my expense.
“Because I want to see you fucking smile,” I blurt out.
“Why?”
Dammit, what’s with this girl?
Then it dawns on me that she’s goading me. Pressing me to answer. To speak my truth.
That she already knows it.
She just wants to hear it.
Payton Hart wants me to cut myself open and bleed my emotions all over the floor.
And fuck it, I will.
“Because I fucking like you,” I say. Simple as that. “That’s why. And I want to make you happy.”
“But why?” she challenges, and I shut her up.
I pull her toward me, wrap my arms around her back, and fuse her lips to mine.
Moving my hand, I cup her face as I kiss her. The kiss starts off soft at first with me testing the waters, seeing how she responds. When she lets out a soft sigh and arches her back, I deepen it.
Pressing my lips more firmly to hers, I kiss her faster.
I slide my tongue in her mouth.
Minutes pass, or maybe just seconds, but I’m lost in this woman.
I want more.
I will always want more where she’s concerned.
Then she’s pulling away and looking at me with confused eyes that are hazy with lust.
“Um . . .” She shakes her head as if to clear it. “What was that?”
“A kiss.”
I’m unapologetic.
This time, I don’t regret even a second of it.
Payton’s cheeks are colored red, but it’s the way she observes me through hooded eyes and thick lashes that makes me wish I had done that sooner. Fuck, she stares at me like I’m everything.
“I should have done it weeks ago,” I admit.
“Oh”—She blinks back at me, stunned—“Okay.”
I pull back and start going through the basket. “Now, let’s eat.”
“I can always eat.”
“Me, too. What do you want first?” I ask her.
“Sandwich?” She scrunches her nose.
“Not cheese?”
She grins, rolling her eyes at me. “If you want to start with cheese, why bother asking me?”
“Not sure.” I tilt my head. “Maybe to fuck with you. Creature of habit. I have a compulsive need to do the opposite of what you say.”
I smile as I reach for a small sandwich and hand it to her. Then I grab one for myself.
She takes a bite and moans. “This is amazing.”
“I made it all by myself.”
“You did?”
“Hell no. I don’t even know where my kitchen is.” I laugh.
“Har, har. You do, too; we had ice cream.”
“Chef made them,” I admit, picking one up and staring at the perfectly cut square. “Scowled the whole way through.”
“I’m not surprised.” She shakes her head, throwing it back in laughter. “This is amazing regardless.”
“Good, enjoy. There are plenty where that came from,” I tell her as I pick up another bite-sized sandwich.
“I’m not used to this,” she says right after she swallows. “I don’t know how to handle this side of you.”
I lift my eyebrow, telling her to continue. My mouth is full, so I can’t speak. Wouldn’t know what to say even if I could.
“You being so nice to me,” she says. “You taking care of me. You kissing me.” She bows her head, and guilt tries to invade the picnic.
I won’t let it.
I know she hates it. She’s said so herself a few times already. And we agreed to put the past behind us and start fresh . . . But damn, if that guilt doesn’t sucker punch me.
“Listen, I was a real asshole.”
“I’m not going to argue with that.”
I set my sandwich down and give her the full force of my attention so she knows I’m serious. “It took me a long time to get my head out of my ass, but this isn’t something that just happened overnight. I knew I was acting poorly. I knew you didn’t deserve my malice for a long time.”
I shake my head, wishing I’d come to the realization sooner, so she wouldn’t be here like this. Injured.
