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Still, after their recent lovemaking, she had more peace than she’d experienced in days.
The next day, Luciano was gone before she woke up, but since he had woken her to make love around dawn, she wasn’t too upset by that fact. The renewal of their physical relationship had gone a long way toward increasing her sense of security in their relationship. So, that evening when Luciano called and said he would not be home for dinner, she took the news with equanimity.
At least he had called.
She ate with Claudia and Martina and spent the rest of the evening teaching her mother-in-law how to play gin rummy after Martina had gone out with friends.
When Hope went to climb into bed, she was in a fairly good mood even though Luciano had still not returned to the villa. Claudia had assured Hope that this was not unusual for her son and had hinted heavily that he would work less when the bambini started coming.
She was dozing lightly when she sensed his presence in the bed and woke up. They made love again and just like the night before, Luciano fell asleep without giving her an opportunity to talk about anything important. To be fair, she hadn’t tried very hard. She didn’t know if she wanted to tell him about her suspicion that she was pregnant. Having proof one way or the other would be better.
That day set the pattern for the ones to follow. If Luciano did return in time for dinner, the hours before sleep would be spent making love. Yet, no matter how many times they made love the night before, he always woke her around dawn to make love again. And just like the first day back, he was always gone to the office before she came awake for the day.
They didn’t talk and sometimes she caught him looking at her with a bitterness that shocked her. The look never lasted long and the one time she’d brought it up, he had changed the subject very effectively by seducing her.
She stopped telling him she loved him, even in the throes of passion. Because although he had clearly not rejected her completely as his wife, she felt an important element of their relationship had been lost. His respect for her.
The longer she played the role of lover, but not true wife, the more she felt like nothing more than a body in his bed.
Even his exquisite lovemaking was taking on a bitter aftertaste when he refused to discuss the stalemate their marriage had become.
She couldn’t quite get how he could blame her for her grandfather’s matchmaking. It didn’t jibe with the man she knew Luciano to be. He was ruthless in business, but fair. Taking out his anger over her grandfather’s actions on her was anything but. Not to mention that those actions hardly warranted the fury they had sparked in her husband.
If she didn’t talk it out soon, she was going to lose respect for herself. She’d been afraid to make waves, to risk another all-out rejection from her husband, but being a body in his bed and nonentity in his life was taking its toll on her sense of self-worth.
She wanted to find out if she really was pregnant before they talked. Perhaps knowledge that she carried his child would give her a better chance of getting through to him.
Using the excuse that she did not want the first time she met her doctor to be during a health crisis, Hope asked Claudia to make an appointment for her with the family doctor. She felt shy about sharing her suspicions with anyone before she talked about it with Luciano. Her mother-in-law appeared to accept Hope’s excuse and made an appointment for her early that afternoon.
A couple of hours later, Hope left the doctor’s surgery in a daze of emotions.
She was pregnant.
Thinking it was a possibility was very different from knowing it to be a reality, she discovered. She felt both terrified and elated at the prospect of motherhood. She knew she would love her baby with every fiber of her being, but she had never even held a toddler in her arms.
The prospect of living with Luciano’s mother had never bothered her, but now Hope saw it as an absolute blessing. She wasn’t alone. Claudia would help her learn the ropes of motherhood and Luciano would be there as well. Family was important to him.
Suddenly she couldn’t wait to tell him. He was bound to be happy. He wanted children. She knew he did. This finally would stop him from acting like she only existed in the bedroom. A man could not dismiss the mother of his child so easily. Especially a traditional Italian male like Luciano.
She instructed the driver to take her to Luciano’s office building.
When she got there, she took the elevator to the top floor without stopping at reception. She barely waited for his secretary to buzz through and tell Luciano she was there.
When Hope walked into his office, he stood up and came around to the front of his desk. “This is a surprise.”
She nodded. She hadn’t even ever called him at work. Showing up out of the blue was bound to shock him. “I had something I wanted to tell you.”
