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“I said, when are you going to study, Mr. Four-point-oh? Midterms are coming.”
“Tonight, in bed after I’m done thinking about you.” I expertly spit my toothpick into the wastepaper basket clear across the room. I ran my fingers up her arm which elicited the baby hairs to rise among the graveyard of scars.
I wanted her to tell me, every fiber of my being, wanted her to trust me enough to tell me her deepest secrets. Seeing some of those angry scars made me furious, an anger I’d only take out on the rest of the world, but I knew she needed me to be patient. My needs weren’t important. Elli was fine, and I was one lucky son of a bitch because she chose to spend her days with me. I knew that as long as I remained patient and showed her that I would always be there for her, one day, she would open up about the demons that haunted her. I trusted her, I hoped she would learn to trust me too.
“Calvin, it’s hard to get anything done with you looking at me like that.”
I smiled at her candor, I loved how she wasn’t scared to use that bossy tone with me. My mother would never have given my father the look Ellison was giving me. It made me feel like I was doing something right. She wasn’t the least bit scared of me.
“I am studying.” I moved closer to her, my face only millimeters from hers. My lips just barely grazing hers. “I’m studying the face of an angel.”
She kicked me under the table and scoffed, then snorted as she laughed. But when I touched my lips to hers, I clearly heard her breath hitch. I affected her no matter how much she tried to play it off. She parted her lips for me, and my tongue slipped into her mouth, devouring her. I placed my forehead against hers breathing hard.
“Watch it, you’ll get us kicked out of the library,” she said into the kiss. I grabbed her thigh under the table and gave it a squeeze
“I know Ellison. Can’t let it get back to your dad. I just feel so grateful to have you, I really do. Since you came along, my life is so much better. If I lost you I don’t know what I’d do.”
“Calvin, why would you lose me?”
I couldn’t stand the idea that maybe Ellison had those scars because she hated herself. The idea shook me deeply, wrapped its deathlike grip around my gut as the unease snaked its way into me. How could my heaven on earth inflict harm on herself enough to leave deep scars? I tried to block it out, focus on her indigo eyes and the ruby flush in her cheeks. I reminded myself it wouldn’t ever happen again now that I was here to protect her. I’d shield Ellison from all the bad in the world if I could.
She took hold of my neck and kissed my lips and I felt like this sweet girl was saving my soul. I snapped out of my internal debate, Ellison didn’t need my sentimentality or my doubt. “I think all this poetry has made me a little dramatic. I’m starving. You?”
“I could probably eat.”
“Should I get us kicked out?” I slid my hand up her jean skirt until I touched the lace edge of her panties. She opened her mouth to protest and then shut it as I lightly ran my pointer finger over the cloth between her legs.
“Or we could just leave voluntarily, how about that?” she spoke through a grimace that made me turn my head. Hurston and Frampton were huddled together at a round table watching my every move. I lifted my chin at them in acknowledgment and then gave them the finger.
Those two fuckers hated me ever since I made the varsity football team when they were the ones who really wanted it. Ellie had college plans and so I needed to “join” if I wanted to make sure to be able to go wherever she wanted to go, and I knew football was my best shot at achieving that. Too bad I was more interested in guitar and my girl than winning the homecoming game or showering with those losers, getting an ugly letter jacket that I wouldn’t be caught dead in anyway.
Hurston gave me the finger back so I made a V with my fingers and licked up the side. Hurston looked horrified and turned back to his paper. They’d never have what Ellison and I had, that’s what made them so drawn to watching us.
“What does that mean?”
“I can’t wait to show you,” Ellison responded by smacking my arm.
“Pizza ok? My treat.” I threw her heavy backpack over my shoulder and grabbed her hand. The two jocks were staring again, checking out Ellison’s legs and ass. I shielded her with my body and adjusted my pants.
