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And God, it’s like a freaking vow. I swear, I feel the kindness and sincerity like they’re some white light pouring from his heart and over me.
His kind face and his tender hands… They’re…so much more. Everything with him is so much more.
I think of Elvie. More tears drip. He didn’t come to me. He never came after the accident. I wasn’t enough. I wasn’t good enough. I don’t even know what— but I wasn’t. Since then, I think I just concluded he was right.
I don’t know I’m shaking until I see Barrett’s eyes widen, and his hand squeezes my shoulder.
“Gwenna?” For a moment, he looks frightened.
I blink; more tears fall. “I’m okay. I’m sorry. I’ve— always been a shaker. I used to shiver during hide and seek in preschool.”
“Oh, Piglet.” He pulls me closer, so my breasts are mashed against his chest and his thick arms are locked around me. “That’s adorable,” he says softly. “And sad as fuck.” He pulls the covers over me and holds me so close, I can hear his heartbeat, feel his body heat.
His hands run up and down my back, moving in circles. “What’s got you shaken up, Gwennie?”
I swallow. My face is tucked against his neck, and I don’t want to look at him. More tears drip down my cheeks.
“I read this quote somewhere,” I rasp. His arm tightens around me. “It says something like, ‘Tell me they were wrong for leaving.’”
“They were wrong,” he says.
Which prompts another little shiver.
“Fuck, this rips me up, Pig.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be.” His lips find my forehead, brushing over my brow. “It’s cute, too. Sad and fucking sweet. Like Piglet from Pooh Bear.”
I laugh for just a second, and I almost ask him if he watched a lot of Pooh. Instead I hear myself say, “Elvie never came to see me.”
“What?”
“In rehab.” My voice cracks.
“What do you mean?”
“In the hospital I said he couldn’t, then he went to Spain. He didn’t want me,” I whisper. I swallow back more tears, and Barrett’s hand cups my face. His eyes bore into mine, gentle and guiding.
“He’s an idiot. He was wrong. I swear, Gwen.”
“I think he was nervous or something. I don’t know.”
Barrett’s body tenses. “That’s bullshit.” His arms tighten around me. “No. He was a coward. Not you. Him. A fucking crazy little coward.”
He takes my face gently in his big hands and tilts it back, so he can see my leaking eyes.
“You hear what I’m saying? He. Was. Wrong. That’s all there is to that. Trust me.”
I bite my lip and try to nod, and cry as I do.
“I didn’t know I was upset still.”
His jaw tightens. “Of course you were. Who wouldn’t be?” he asks in a rough whisper. “He’s a fucking fool. Believe me there.”
I nod, and find the nerve to wrap an arm around his lean waist. “Thanks.”
I’m still crying. His arms tighten around me.
