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A half-assed shriek escapes my lips. I lurch up.
“Huhh?”
I turn…slowly—my head throbs—to find Jamie smirking with her arms crossed.
“That’s what it took. I’m not surprised.”
“What?” I draw my elbows in against my ribcage, cradling my sore head in my hands. “It’s bright.”
“You’re still as vain as you have been since college.”
“I’m not vain.”
“Materialistic.”
“Materialistic?” My pulse pounds above my eyebrows.
Jamie smirks again. “I’m teasing, Gwen babe, but at least it got you moving. I can tell that you’re alive now.”
“Why are you here?”
“Because your brother came by earlier today. He couldn’t get you to the door, so we were worried. He called, and you answered. You said you were sick. He asked what was the matter, you told him swine flu. I don’t even think that that’s a thing right now, but that was a red flag to him, I guess. Which is another way of saying you sounded drunker than Cooter Brown.”
“Who the fuck is Cooter Brown?”
Through my shaking fingers, I see Jamie shrug in her crisp, light blue blouse. “I’m not sure, now that you ask. It’s something that my grandma says. We probably don’t want to know. You know how those old, Southern stories are.”
I squeeze my eyes shut. Why the hell is she still talking?
I hear something. Crack an eyelid open.
I find Jamie by me… Sniffing. “Woman, how long since you had a bath?”
I stick my middle finger up. “Today,” I lie.
I’m not sure when it was, but there’s no way I smell. I wear deodorant and have a Glade Plug-In right there in the bathroom. I put it in for—
My throat seizes, and I’m darting toward the bathroom faster than I would have thought was possible. For whatever reason, my still-slightly-drunk self sees the sink as an easier target than the toilet, so that’s where I throw up, a bunch of awful, streaky, slightly reddish stuff.
“I’m not sure if that’s gross or impressive. It’s like The Exorcist.”
I want to hit her.
“What?” she asks, one eyebrow arched, as I wipe my face with a wet washcloth. “Would you like me to enable you and lie?”
“Enable.” I roll my eyes. Ouch. “Get out.” I wave at her. “I’ll take a shower.”
“Good. When you finish, we’re going out to dinner.”
I feel queasy at the thought.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be your very own bodyguard and life coach. Nic is coming, and he’ll drive us.”
* * *
Gwenna
January 24, 2016
