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I was?

“I messed up,” she whispers. “The refrigerator… I’m so sorry.”

I stare at the ceiling. “Would you go with me?” The question burbles up from nowhere. “Finley…will you marry me? If I get better?”

Her arms tighten around me. I feel her ribs expand. Her lungs expand. I love her lungs. More than I hate myself, I love her. Does it work like that? Does getting better work like loving something more than wanting to be dead?

A triangle moves across the ceiling. Something long and pale. I focus on it without knowing what it means.

“I would love to marry you, Carnegie. But—” Her voice catches. “Declan—”

Finley jumps up. I sit up in time to hear her loud gasp. “Doctor!”

Two figures congeal before someone flips the light switch.

I blink at the priest and someone else—a short guy with gray-brown hair. I’m getting to my feet when Finley runs into his arms.

He chuckles: a deep, Santa sort of laugh that doesn’t match his small frame. “It’s my wee wifey!”

Fourteen

Finley

When my world implodes, there’s silence. Silence as I’m crushed against my husband’s chest. Silence as Father Russo spots Declan on the floor. I hear a smack, but I can’t turn around because I’m locked in Doctor’s arms.

When I do, I find Declan lying pushed up on one elbow with a dazed look on his face, and Father Russo standing over him.

“What’s this then?” Doctor frowns from me to Declan and then back to me, with drawn brows. “What’s he doing here?”

“He’s sick,” I manage.

Father Russo crouches down beside him. When my gaze moves to Declan’s face, I find his eyes are locked on me. His face is white as bone, but his eyes—they’re blazing. I feel myself whither.

When I look to Doctor again, his hard eyes are on me, too.

He frowns at me, then strides to Declan. “Hello there. I’m the physician over this clinic.” He kneels beside Declan, and I feel my legs shake. “Dr. Daniels. Or, as they call me, simply the good Doctor.” He casts a glance over his should

er at me. “Intoxication?”

From my angle standing over them, I see Declan’s jaw lock. He shakes his head. “Tree nut allergy. Got near something with cashews.”

I watch, wordless, as he somehow stands, putting a hand into his pocket for a moment before looking dead at me.

“Thanks for the Benadryl, Finley.” He quirks a brow at Doctor. “Nice to finally meet you, Dr. Daniels.” He nods, just the barest motion of his chin, and walks out of the clinic.

The sensation in my chest is one of tugging. It’s as if my heart is trying to leave with him.

When the door clicks shut, Father Russo and Doctor speak at once.

“That is the strangest—” Father Russo begins, as Doctor exclaims, “Who the devil managed to get cashews?”

Father Russo shakes his head, purses his lips. I can feel his eyes move over my face as I glance down at the floor.

Doctor steps back over to me. He snakes an arm around my waist, then drapes his hand over my backside. “Who has cashews?” he asks lightly, as his fingers pinch.

His hand roves up and down as the priest shrugs. “I’ve not seen them offered in the catalog since ’17.” He gives me a pointed look, then steps toward Doctor, hand extended. “Welcome back, Daniels.” They clasp hands, and he meets my gaze. “You’ll do better with him here now.”

“Yes.”

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