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“Finley?” I hiss. “It’s Declan.”
Seventeen
Finley
I brace for the worst when I hear the door open. Horror after horror, I think, my body trembling. Then I hear him. I hear Declan. He’s here or I’ve gone mad. Either way, I’m weeping as I rush from the stall.
He catches me and spins me slightly, with one arm around my back. His hand tunnels up through my hair, holding my head as his mouth presses over mine. He kisses me hard, and then I’m gasping. He’s whispering something. My blood is booming in my ears.
“Hey there, sweet Siren. Are you okay?” He holds me tight enough to hurt, and I can feel the tremor in him as his ribs pump with his quick, quiet breaths.
I cling to him, my voice cracking on a sob. All I can say is, “Sailor.”
“It’s okay. I’ve got you now.” We’re leaned against the wall. I’m wrapped in his arms, scarcely standing on my weak legs as he holds me to him, his lips against my hair as he says, “Listen to me, Siren. He’s still out there and we’ve gotta go. Are you hurt anywhere?” His hands stroke down my back and sides as he blinks down at me with warm, gentle eyes.
I shake my head as tears spill down my cheeks. It’s not true, though. The answer is “my heart,” but it feels better now.
“Okay—we’re gonna have to find a different door. Is there a side door you could show me?”
“I can’t leave with you! They won’t let me!” A sob punches from my throat before his mouth seals over mine again.
“I know.” He holds me tightly. “I know you can’t without spousal consent. Somebody told me. Do you want to, though? You want to leave with me, Finny? I think I can get that ship to leave if we go right now, get some lead time.”
“Yes. Yes, please! Don’t leave me here, please!”
“Okay, baby. Where’s that other door? You gotta show me where the other door is.”
“The side door.”
We steal through the darkened hall and past the lesson rooms and turn right. And there’s the door. He pushes it open, and I rush into the frigid night, and then we’re running through the semi-frozen dew that sparkles like diamonds in the grass. We’re running so quickly, Declan’s strong hands dragging me, and I suppose I’m too slow because then he’s thrown me over his shoulder. With each bouncing step, his shoulder jabs me in the belly, so I shut my eyes. I can’t see the places as we pass. I can’t say goodbye. Perhaps it’s better that way.
I feel when we reach the hill. The hill I walked up to look down and see him arriving. It’s the last path that I walked with Mummy. When we reach the downslope where the grass rolls down to the dock, he sets me on my feet and grabs my hand, and we run down the path together. That’s when raindrops start to hit me in the face.
“The queen pulls back up to the dock, and Prince Declan hops in, and he and the princess exchange smiles as best friends do. She says, ‘I’m glad you’re here,’ and he says, ‘Oh, of course. I would never dream of missing rainbow glitter dolphins on your birthday.’”
Pain or something like it swells in my chest, but we’re moving so quickly. I think of the coming ocean. I can see my mother’s yellow flower halo. If I start to drown, can he save me? I’m aware as we approach the dock that the sea is choppy—like it was that day. Fear fills my lungs, spins my head. Declan’s strong hand squeezes mine.
“Don’t worry. I’m going to take care of you. You trust me, Siren?”
“Yes.”
“I’ve spent a ton of time out on the ocean. And this ship’s expecting me. Money can’t buy everything, but I think it can buy a speedy departure for me and a plus one. If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure. Please!”
My legs shake awfully as we step into the boat. We’re moving quickly, but he takes a moment to kneel in front of me and look into my eyes. “Are you sure?” He takes my hand in his and squeezes. “It’s okay if you’re not. I can stick around here with you. Try to work out something. I won’t leave you, Siren.”
Tears well in my eyes and spill down my cheeks. I nod once. “I’m sure.”
It’s a fact: nothing will ever be resolved here. Doctor would never absolve me of my vows. He’ll never let me go, and Father Russo told me with his own lips just today that he’ll never annul our charade of a marriage. After my four hours of Hail Marys, he’d been preparing to deliver me to Doctor for a consummation and re-dedication of our vows.
“I want to go with you, my Sailor. Even if we have to flee.”
I think of Baby, and I wipe fresh tears to be leaving her behind. Then he’s helping me into a life vest, and I can’t stop my body shaking. It smells the same, the life vest does. I feel nearly just the same: so frightened.
Rain falls faster as he unties the boat from the dock. My eyes cling to the hill that keeps the dock hidden from the village. Any moment now, someone might come.
“You okay?”
