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Raine bowed her head and closed her eyes. He could feel a palpable hopelessness wash over her.
“But I can’t compete. I have almost no experience.”
Her little, broken voice ripped at him. Hammer couldn’t stop himself from cupping the back of her head and caressing gently. “It’s not a competition.”
“It is! I don’t get a chance to submit and learn and grow,” she went on with a sob. “No one will touch me because they won’t cross you. I’ve had sex twice in the last five years. I’ve never really scened. Every man here avoids me. I feel...damaged and ugly. If you don’t want me, show a little mercy and let me go.”
Each brutally honest word that tumbled from her mouth burned him like acid. In allowing other Dominants to look but not touch, he’d kept her captive, like a bird in a gilded cage. He could hardly blame her for her submissive shortcomings. How was she supposed to flourish if he constantly impeded her growth and refused to give her up? Liam was right; he’d done her a huge injustice.
You’ve known for years she’s in love with you, and you, you sick, twisted fuck… How long have you cared for her? Ached for her? Guilt burned bitter on his tongue.
Goddamnit, he wasn’t what she needed. That truth hurt like a bitch. Furious at himself for not being the man she deserved, Hammer knew he should set her free.
But letting go would be so fucking hard. Fear that she would, indeed, find a better Master punched him in the gut. The pain didn’t bring out the best in him, and at the thought of losing her, he lashed out, knowing exactly how to scare her into obedience.
“You want a taste of someone else’s dominance? I can arrange that.” He gritted his teeth. “You’re due a punishment. How about an evening with, say…Beck?”
As soon as Hammer spoke the threat, he wished he could call it back. Jesus, he had to stop letting his emotions take over, but Raine had him so unhinged that he was acting more like a bully than a Dom.
Her eyes flew open wide and her body shook. “But he—he’s…”
A tremendous sadist who took pleasure in torturing submissives. Raine was not a pain slut. Still, Hammer had to ensure that she ceased pushing him for what he couldn’t give, no matter how much her lesson hurt them both. And he couldn’t take his threat back now without undermining his own authority.
She tore herself from Hammer’s grasp and glared at him with panic in her eyes. “Dear god, haven’t you hurt me enough? Would you hand your perfect little Marlie to him? Of course not. You give a fuck what happens to her. You care whether he terrifies or marks her. Me? Oh, let’s just throw the little girl to the big bad wolf. Will you stand there and laugh while he marks me?”
Her angry taunt shamed him to the core. “Since you’ve never acted out this seriously, I’ll show you mercy and rescind your punishment if you say you’re sorry.”
Hammer prayed that she accepted his leniency. Instead, her eyes bulged in shock.
“You want me to apologize because I was dumb enough to confess my feelings so you could tear them to shreds? No. You know what? I’m done! So done.”
Just when he thought her temper tantrum couldn’t get any worse, she stormed out of his office, hell bent on...what? He had no clue. She disappeared into her room at the end of the hall, slamming the door until the walls shook. Then she reappeared a minute later, barely dressed in a miniscule skirt and a cleavage-hugging halter top, sans bra. Without warning, she launched her office keys at him. He caught them before they smacked him in the chest.
“I won’t be in your way anymore. I won’t stare at you with stupid puppy dog eyes. I won’t bake for you. I won’t do your filing. I won’t order your booze. I sure as hell won’t masturbate to thoughts of you. Just erase me from your memory bank because I’m gone. And I’m never coming back.”
No. Fuck, no!
Before she could blaze out the door in an F5 cyclone of fury, he chased her and snagged her arm, his fingers staying her in a desperate grip.
“Stop! Are you really going to act like a child and threaten to run away from home because you’re not getting your way?”
“Since you just had your fingers up my pussy, I would have hoped that you’d figured out I’m a woman. I’m also perfectly within my rights to leave. Buh-bye.”
Leave it to clever little Raine to throw his stupidity back in his face. He had to bite back the urge to shout at her. As it was, they’d already been so loud that the other Doms and subs sleeping nearby in their private rooms were getting one hell of a wake-up call.
