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“You were barely eighteen, Raine.”
“But I was eighteen, a legal adult. I was tired of you treating me like a child. I thought having sex would prove to you that I wasn’t a kid. I didn’t think you wanted my virginity.”
“I would have killed for it.”
The gravity in his tone quieted her. She’d done something she deeply regretted, and it had hurt him. What if she’d learned to communicate years ago? “If I had told you that I wanted to give it to you then…?”
“You never made me that offer, so we’ll never know what I would have done. Did Zak make you feel special and treasured that night?”
Damn it, he knew the answer to this question. Regret poured hot through her. The shame she’d felt that night scalded its way inside her veins again, black, ugly, devastating. “You know he treated me like trash.”
“Because he was a player. And an asshole. I banned him from Shadows after I beat the fuck out of him.”
“So you tried to manipulate Hammer into giving you what you wanted instead of communicating?” Liam questioned. “Sex was the last thing your fragile heart needed at the time, but you took matters into your own hands and had a terrible experience. Do I have that right?”
Humiliation scraped at her as fat tears burned her cheeks. “Yes. But I didn’t know what to do. Growing up, anything I made the mistake of admitting I wanted was immediately taken away, destroyed, or killed. If I didn’t want any more broken CDs or dead puppies, I had to keep my mouth shut. In my head, if I told Hammer how I felt, he’d only spurn me. Or worse, kick me out and never speak to me again.”
Both men stood staring at her for a long, silent moment, as if absorbing her words. Then they moved in quickly, surrounding her, their hands and lips soothing her freshly opened wounds. Hammer kissed away her tears, his broad fingers stroking her hair, offering comfort. Liam enveloped her and tilted his head to capture her lips and swallow her sobs. When he lifted away, he gripped her so tenderly, as if trying to keep her from shattering in his hands.
“I would never have cast you aside, sweet girl,” Hammer breathed as he caught her gaze in his. “You’re the most precious gift life has ever given me. I may not have shown it, but I’ve treasured every single day you’ve been with me.”
She saw love in his eyes. It was there, just like Beck had sworn. At that moment, it didn’t matter if Hammer could say the words or not, she saw it, felt it, drank it in, and filled herself with every ounce of it.
How many years had she convinced herself that he didn’t care? How many ways had she tried to coerce his affection because she simply hadn’t asked? So much wasted time, energy, and heartache. It was too late to change the past. All she could do was move forward, knowing she had his love now. And that if she wanted to keep this connection growing, they had to talk.
Liam’s soft lips peppered her cheeks, her nose, her mouth. Looking into his gentle brown eyes, Raine saw compassion and devotion reflected back at her. He had never stopped believing in her, never stopped trying to open her up, never stopped steeping her in his love.
She didn’t know how it was possible, but Raine was falling even more for these men.
“You’re doing beautifully,” Liam murmured. “We’ve got you. You’re safe. Keep being brave. We’re not going anywhere.”
She sniffed and nodded as he reached up and wiped her tears with his broad thumb.
“We’re so proud of you,” Hammer added. “We know this isn’t easy. It’s hard for us at times, too. But until we open all the wounds and purge what’s inside, we can’t begin to help you heal them.”
“I know.” Raine nodded as she slumped against the cross. She had to dig through the past if she was going to embrace her future. Now that she knew she could draw strength from their unwavering tenderness and understanding, she could go on.
Liam traced his fingertips over her lips. Gazing into her eyes, Raine could see something heavy weighed on his mind. Remembering all the ways she’d dodged his questions in the past, whatever he was about to ask, she owed him nothing but honesty now.
“When I brought you here the first time, we talked about your father. Or rather, I asked and you gave me an abbreviated version of events that basically told me almost nothing. If you’d given me the whole truth, I would have understood you better. I could have helped you more. But you tied my hands with your silence.”
“I didn’t know how to give up my control or let down my walls, Sir. I’m trying to learn now. Saying I’m sorry isn’t enough, but that’s all I can say.”
