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As he tightened the restraints and began securing her to the bed frame, Raine froze. Her eyes flew wide, pupils dilating at lightning pace.
“No! Stop.” She thrashed like a wild thing, shoving against his restraints, kicking, tossing her head, wailing. “Stop. God, stop! Paris!”
She’d safeworded out. Hammer’s inner beast heeled instantly. Stunned, he unwound the ropes. His guts liquefied.
Between her legs, Liam sat back on his heels. They shared a glance. His Irish friend looked as stricken as he did. Two months ago, Raine had loved rope and cuffs—anything that put her under their command. Back then, the moment restraints touched her skin, she’d melted.
Now, she seemed terrified almost beyond solace.
Hammer tossed the silk rope away, out of sight. She still looked pale and shaken and afraid.
“It’s all right, love.” Liam crouched over her. “No one will hurt you.”
“Take a deep breath.” Hammer’s command was a quiet lash above their harsh breaths. “The restraints are gone. No more. Focus on us.”
She blanched, tore away from him, and curled onto her side.
Hammer felt as if he’d been kicked in the balls. He should have fucking learned all the things not to do after his late wife, like getting drunk on power and giving in to his impulsive needs. Why did he seem so hell bent on repeating the past?
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
As one, he and Liam moved to surround her, holding her close, giving her their body heat and reassurance.
From the moment she’d entered his life, Hammer had made it his mission to know everything about Raine. Her menstrual cycle. The brand of her favorite citrusy shampoo. Her loathing of pickles. The movies that made her cry. Her every dirty fantasy and “secret” crush. Every achievement. Every regret. Every expression that accompanied every one of her moods. He’d missed nothing…until now.
He’d been feeling unworthy since he put Juliet in the ground eight years ago. In some ways, this failure hurt just as fucking bad.
“Raine,” Liam murmured. “Sweetheart, talk to us.”
She didn’t respond to his words. Her body merely bucked with a silent sob.
That didn’t deter Liam, and Hammer kept his mouth shut. Right now, Raine didn’t need him commanding her to open up. She needed Liam’s compassion. When their girl crawled into her head, he turned into the Raine whisperer.
Hammer stilled to watch.
“You’re safe with us. At home. Can you hear me, love?” Liam spoke the words so gently. “Follow the sound of my voice. Do it now.”
She stilled, hiccupped, blinked up at Liam.
“Good girl. Now tell us how you feel.”
“Mortified.” She sucked in a wrenching breath. “I kicked you. Oh, god. I’m sorry.”
Liam shook his head. “Don’t be. We understand.”
“I don’t. What happened? One minute I was melting between you. The next, I needed to fight.”
Hammer’s guts tightened. “Did you see Bill in your head?”
“No.” She sat up, backed away, bringing her knees to her chest. “But I felt that fear again. It screamed that if I let myself be restrained, I would die.” Apology softened her eyes. “I thought I was ready for anything but…”
“You’re not, and I’m the one who’s sorry,” Hammer insisted. “I bound you and dredged up your fear. Jesus, if I’d known…”
“You can’t blame yourself,” Liam said. “That’s why it’s called a hidden trigger.”
Who else could he blame? “I would never intentionally push you past your limits, precious.”
She stared down at her kneecaps. “Being restrained is one of the things I’ll work on with my therapist, but what just happened is no reflection of my need to submit or my feelings for you.”
Hammer worried she wanted that to be true more than it actually was. The one bright ray was that she had communicated her fear and its reason—something Juliet had never done. Something Raine had never been good at in the past. She’d made amazing progress.
“There now, love,” Liam reassured as he drew Raine into his arms. “We don’t need to tie you up to give you pleasure…or let you make us feel good.”
“I don’t know when I’ll be able to handle restraints again, but I’ll keep trying.” She clung, her voice shaky but resolved. “It hurts me because I know it disappoints you both.”
After what she’d been through, she was worried about disappointing them? Fuck, he was the bastard here.
“You haven’t disappointed us at all,” Liam crooned.
She tried to smile but looked as if her perceived shortcomings were ripping her in two. “I’m sorry I killed the mood.”
Hammer brushed his fingers through her inky mane and muzzled the howling beast inside him. “You were scared. Don’t apologize.”
“Can I fix you a nice breakfast? Apple spice muffins and date scones? I know it’s not sex, but maybe we could snuggle.”
Yes. Raine’s love of baking had always been her go-to escape when the pressures of life overwhelmed. She spoiled them both with her sweet delights.
“I’d appreciate you sending me off to the club with my favorite muffins and your affection,” Hammer assured.
