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In fact, I knew I didn’t.
“Babe…” he tried, but I shook my head.
“No,” I said. “I want you to leave. I want you to lose my number. I want you to stop talking to my family. I want you to forget about O’Ryan and what you promised to do to him. I want you to leave and never look back. I want to be someone you used to know.”
Beau looked like he was about to cry.
“You hurt someone I love,” I told him bluntly. “For a year, I had to eat, sleep, and pee when another man told me to. I had to obey his every command. I can’t sleep with the darkness anymore. I can’t go to the bathroom without questioning whether I should ask permission first. I… you almost did that to someone else. And that’s not something I can ever forgive. Even if you want me to.”
Beau said nothing.
“And, to be honest, you don’t even see what you did wrong as wrong. You almost sold not just a woman, but a baby, into that mess. You have no idea just how bad that could’ve been for them. I got a nice person… and that’s saying something because he wasn’t very nice. But in comparison to some of the others… Beau. Do you know that a woman in sex trafficking is raped thousands of times? I don’t even have a statistic for that. But… that could’ve been a woman. Your best friend’s woman. Or your old best friend’s woman. And her child. A man that you used to call your brother. You almost gave her to that. You… that’s not something I’ll ever be able to forgive.”
Beau swallowed.
“And you forced him out of his career because he got pissed at what you did. Something he deserved to get pissed over. So, I’m sorry if I’m being harsh, but you deserved it. You deserved worse than what you got. He deserved so much better.” I sat back in my seat and gathered my purse into my lap.
“I…”
He started to speak, but a vehicle pulling into the lot caught my attention.
Will.
Wasn’t it just my luck that that was when Will decided to show up, when I was talking to Beau.
I glared at him as I saw him get out of his department issued cruiser.
He was wearing a uniform today. Well, kind of.
He was in black tactical pants, a black polo shirt that had ‘Paris Police Department’ embroidered on it in bright yellow block letters, and he had on a gun holster that was strapped around his thigh.
I couldn’t pull my eyes away from that gun holster.
Not because of it having a gun or anything in it. But because of what that thigh holster did to his package.
I was very up close and personal with his cock, and just sayin’, but that stupid holster did things to it that I only saw when he was in his underwear.
I wanted to rip it off of his thigh and glare at all the women that I knew were looking at him.
He looked up, laughing at something that another cop had said that’d pulled up right beside him.
I hated that stupid smile. I hated that stupid cute face. I hated those bulging biceps that were so good at holding me. I hated those stupid veins in his arms that made me want to poke them. I hated that he had a walk that was determined and swift. I hated that he had such a luscious voice. I hated that I didn’t hate him at all. I hated that he made me love him.
I hated that he hadn’t called.
I hated that he had spotted my car in the lot and had instantly frozen solid.
I hated that hopeful look as he jerked his head up and started looking around.
I hated…
“You love him.”
I twisted my head, unaware of when I’d completely forgotten about Beau, and not feeling an ounce of sorrow for it.
“I love him,” I confirmed.
He swallowed hard. “I thought you’d love me forever.”
I shrugged. “I don’t think I ever truly loved you, Beau. Not like I should have.” I jerked my head in the jerk’s direction. “I love that man more than I want to be okay. I would spend another year in hell just to spend more time with him. I’d never want to go back there. Not for anyone but him.”
Beau looked down at his hands. “I hope that you have a good life, Cannel. I truly do. That’s all I ever wanted for you.”
I gathered my stuff and left him with a few parting words. “If you ever meet another girl, don’t smother her. Don’t treat her like you treated me. Don’t treat her friends like trash, because sometimes, your friends are the only thing keeping you afloat. And, for the love of God, don’t tell her about what idiotic things you’ve done in your past.”
