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Jared doesn’t appear to appreciate that remark. “That’s Professor Appleby, PhD in Physics, at the Montrose Wills Academy of Science, Mr. Funny Guy.”
I lean against a nearby locker and cross my arms, ready to enjoy the show. I’m only missing a bucket of popcorn and I’d be perfect.
Dante smirks, swallowing a chuckle he almost let out. “Let me make an educated guess here.” He speaks in a faux scholarly tone of voice, quirking his eyebrows with mock haughtiness. “You must be the boyfriend of someone who visited me.”
“Oh? ‘Visited’ you? Is that what we’re calling it now?” The man scoffs. “You have a lot of nerve.”
“And patience,” Dante adds in a surprisingly calm tone of voice as he sits down on the bench in front of the man and, as casually as a Sunday afternoon spent in a hammock, proceeds to put his socks on one at a time.
The man stands over Dante, scowling. “I have photos. I saw him meet you here. And I saw him meet you at your apartment complex in Mayville. I hired a private investigator.”
“Oh? Did you? Fire him.”
“And I—” The man blinks. “What?”
Dante finishes with his socks and proceeds to unhurriedly slip on his shoes. “If he was any good, he would have also discovered I’m a photographer. See, I have photos as well.” Dante lifts his striking, brilliant eyes to meet the man’s. Even sitting down, Dante looks like the dominant one, completely and indisputably in control of the conversation. “Photos of your boyfriend … being a kinky little devil.”
The man opens his mouth, then slaps it shut.
When Dante rises from the bench, he towers over the tall man. “Jared, you went and wasted all of your money and time when you could have just communicated with your unsatisfied boyfriend and asked him what’s up. Then your PhD ass might’ve been informed that he wants a little less vanilla in the bedroom and a little more Rocky Road.”
“Wait a second.” It all starts to dawn on stiff-necked Jared. “You’re just a photographer?”
“Oh, I’m a lot more than that. I’m a landlord, a former professional bodybuilder, a loyal brother and son, and an artist.” He then plucks a card out of the pocket of his jeans he just changed into and offers it to the stunned Jared, who reluctantly takes it with wide eyes. “Maybe he plans to show you the photos we took. Or maybe you’ll feel inspired to come on by Piazza Place and take some of your own. Regardless, he left satisfied and proud of his tight, twink tush.”
Jared stares at the card, still bewildered. Then he squints at Dante suddenly. “Wait a minute here. How do you know who my boyfriend is? Or that he was satisfied at all?”
Dante smirks down at him. “Boy, everyone who walks through my doors leaves satisfied.”
With that, Dante beckons me with a sideways nod, and I push myself off the lockers to head off with him, leaving the still-stunned Jared standing in that spot, jaw half-dropped, Dante’s business card still pinched between his skinny fingers.
Outside the gym, I get a text back from Larry at Aubergines. I grin, stop in place, and text a reply confirming plans for Lena’s bachelorette party.
Dante must notice the text over my shoulder. “Bachelorette party at the eggplant Thursday? You some kinda party planner now?”
“I’m giving my friend’s sister an amazing last-minute bachelorette party for her and her ladies. She likes gay stuff. And you know what?” I lift my chin. “Who knows? Maybe I am a party planner now. Top notch. It’s all about connections. Brett is movin’ on up in the world!”
“Brett is talking about himself in third person.” Dante snorts and shakes his head. “This sounds like you’re going off the deep end again.”
I frown. “Again?”
“If you spontaneously quit Bailey’s again like you did last summer, I won’t be so forgiving about the rent. Don’t think that just ‘cause we’re friends, I won’t evict your ass.”
“I have everything under control!” I exclaim—and even I can hear the “famous last words” feel of that proud, declarative statement. “Promise!”
To that, Dante just gives another snort, wipes his head, then shoots me a warning look. “I’m telling you, don’t quit that job, Macintyre, or else it’ll be Connor looking for a new roommate next.”
12
Everything comes together perfectly.
Though I couldn’t rent the whole venue, Larry at least allowed me to secure a section by the stage for Lena and her bridesmaids to have a good time. It’s quickly made our first outing look like amateur night. Less than one hour in, all of the ladies are hilariously hammered and throwing more dollar bills at the stage than I can count.
Skylar hangs with me at the bar, watching his sister and her friends go at it from afar. “They just don’t have a gay scene like this where we’re from.”
