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I’d been livid when Brady asked her to dance and then became even madder for feeling that way. Ari was nothing to me.
I gulped down the last of the beer, watching the way the wind blew her long wavy hair around her shoulders. I wanted to grab her, fist my hands in her hair, and kiss her like I’d never kissed anyone before. But I wouldn’t, because despite what most people believed I did have some sort of self-control. Just not much of it.
I argued with Ari, because if I didn’t that little bit of control might slip and I didn’t know what would happen if it did. It wouldn’t be anything good, that was for sure.
I knew it was selfish of me to be like a little kid with a toy I didn’t want to play with, but didn’t want anyone else to have either but I couldn’t help it.
The fireworks ended and Ari stood.
I took several steps back, blending into the shadows and grasses around me.
She kept her head down as she made her way back to the steps leading up to the backyard. To anyone else she might have seemed oblivious to everything going on, but not to me. I saw the way her eyes flickered from side to side, briefly glancing over each body she passed as if she was searching for something or someone.
Secrets.
We all had them.
And something told me Ari’s eclipsed mine.
***
After only a few hours of sleep, I’d gotten up, changed into my wetsuit, grabbed my surfboard, and headed out into the ocean. The sun was just coming up as I paddled out.
I hadn’t been able to quiet my mind enough for sleep, so I’d decided the best course of action was to get some early-morning surf time in.
Being out on the water soothed my soul; it was one of the only things that did.
Out in the water was where I belonged. Away from the chaos of the world. Surrounded by the turbulent ocean, I found the patience I could never seem to find on land.
I sat up on my board and closed my eyes, listening to the sound of the water lapping against me and the chirps of birds overhead. I inhaled a breath, holding it for a moment before letting it out. I blinked my eyes open and leaned my head back to look at the sky above. It was beginning to bloom with oranges and purples.
I scrubbed a hand over my face and then laid my hands flat on my board.
And then I waited.
And waited some more.
Until finally my wave came.
I paddled out and felt my body begin to fill with that familiar rush. The grin on my face was unavoidable.
This, right here, right now, this is what I live for and why my heart keeps beating.
When I finally headed back to shore, the sun was completely up. I grabbed my board and held it under my arm as I walked the rest of the way out of the water.
I had my head down, water dripping from my hair down my face, and wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings, so when someone called out to me it nearly scared the crap out of me. At least I had an excellent poker face so I didn’t look the least bit surprised.
“You’re really good. Like insanely good.”
I looked up and to my right to see Ari walking toward me from a few feet away. Her hair blew around her shoulders and her eyes were wide and alert despite the fact I’d heard her wake up screaming yet again. She wore a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt with a jacket which she clutched to her chest.
I tipped my head and muttered, “Thanks.”
She let out a humorless laugh. “You don’t like compliments?”
I looked at her like she was crazy. “I said thanks.”
“It was the way you said it.” She glared up at me. “I was trying to be nice, but I see now that’s futile when it comes to you.”
