AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“The truth that we share is entirely up to us. It can be a big or small one. Doesn’t matter. Whatever we feel comfortable sharing at the moment. M’kay?”
She pondered my words, pressing her lips together in thought. I watched as she rubbed the nail of her index finger against her thumb’s nail. It was a tell that she was nervous, one she didn’t even realize she did. But I knew. I saw everything around me, even when I looked like I didn’t give a flying fuck.
“I’ll go first,” I said, pressing a hand to my chest. “I love M&Ms. I guess you could say they’re my guilty pleasure.”
She bit her lip and shuffled her feet some more.
“Look, Ari,” I cleared my throat, “I’m fucking trying here, okay? I know I’m not the nicest or easiest guy to be around, but I guess in my own way I’m trying to apologize for earlier and…every day, really.” I rubbed at the back of my head. “Trying is a big deal for me, so, please, don
’t throw this back in my face.”
Oh for fuck’s sake I just said please. I might as well get down on my knees and beg. I was doing my best to say I was sorry for the kiss earlier. It would be easier to just say the words I’m sorry, but I wasn’t sorry. Even after her reaction, I couldn’t take it back, because in those moments before, I’d felt something. Some small stirring inside me that I hadn’t felt in so fucking long, and I wouldn’t take back that feeling for anything.
Selfish bastard right here.
She straightened, a new resolve taking over her body. “I like to draw. I love it, actually,” she admitted with a small laugh, tucking a stray piece of dark brown hair behind her ear. Her lips lifted in a half-smile and her hands wound together. “When I draw…it’s like nothing else exists.” I knew what she meant, that feeling, because I felt it when I surfed. “I miss it.” She shrugged, slowly meeting my eyes.
“Why do you miss it?” I shook my head. “That didn’t come out right. What I mean is, why aren’t you drawing?”
“Art supplies are expensive,” she replied with a wan smile, “and I’m saving every penny I make.” So I can get out of here and away from you, was what she left unsaid.
“I see.” I nodded as the coffee maker beeped, signaling that it was ready.
Ari turned and grabbed two mugs from the upper cabinet. She filled each and carried them over to the counter. She slid mine across, and I picked it up.
She still stood on the other side instead of sitting beside me, but that was okay, because she was there.
We drank our coffee in companionable silence, and for once I didn’t feel the urge to flee. I was content to just…be, and it was a really fucking good feeling.
One I was terrified of growing used to.
Ari
I didn’t have to work that day, and with Liam’s parents lingering around, I was cursing that fact. It was bad enough that they’d probably heard me screaming last night. I ended up calling Darren to see if there was any chance he needed me and that had been a bust. The schedule was full, and no one had called in sick.
I was stuck.
Liam’s mom had made it impossible to escape. I knew she was trying to be nice by including me in the conversation, but I just felt awkward. Especially when it became obvious that she kept trying to push Liam and me together. Every time I looked at him all I could think about was that kiss. Even the thought brought heat to my cheeks. That kiss had been amazing. My first real kiss. Any I’d had before had been forcibly taken from me, but not that one. I’d wanted him to kiss me, but I’d never admit that out loud. I’d been into it too. Oh God, how I had been. And then… And then I don’t know what happened. It was like I was overcome by a vision, a flash of before, and suddenly it wasn’t Liam on me anymore.
It was him.
It was Blaise.
On me.
All around me.
Filling me.
Taking.
Taking.
Taking.
Taking what wasn’t his to take in the first place.
It had felt so real, and panic had clawed at my chest, fighting to get free. I’d felt like I was suffocating, and I was slowly dying in his arms. I’d had to get away.
