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I’d forgotten shoes, and the steps to the beach were cold beneath my feet. I shivered but didn’t turn around to grab a jacket or shoes.
When I reached the beach, my feet sunk into the sand. I whipped my head back and forth, searching the stretch of beach for Liam, but I didn’t see him anywhere. He could’ve gone in either direction, but I chose to go straight, figuring that would be the most likely way he would’ve stormed off in anger.
It was eerie out on the beach by myself; the darkness, and the wind played tricks on me. My heart rate picked up speed, and I feared that I wasn’t alone—that someone, other than Liam, was creeping around. My pace quickened, and I began to almost jog. Coming out to the beach virtually alone had been stupid. If Blaise and his men had found me I was a sitting duck.
“Liam?” I called, the single word coated with fear.
I looked to my left and right, but I didn’t see him.
I almost turned around to either go back to the house or to try the other direction, but that’s when I saw him.
He was sitting in the sand, close enough to the ocean that the water nearly touched his toes when it crested the beach. Empty beer bottles sat beside him, and he had his arms draped over his knees, his head hanging low.
He looked like a puppy that had been kicked and tossed outside.
I didn’t bother calling out to him. Instead, I walked over and sank down onto the beach beside him. Sand stuck to my hands, and I brushed it off on my sweatpants. I didn’t say anything; I knew enough about Liam now to know he didn’t want words. If I spoke, he’d get pissed and send me away, but if I sat there and didn’t say a word, well, I thought he’d appreciate that.
I tied my hair back into a sloppy ponytail, securing it with the band that I almost always wore on my wrist.
I’d sit next to him as long as he needed me to.
He took a deep breath and let it out shakily. I knew he was aware of my presence, even though he didn’t acknowledge me in any way.
I watched the water creep near our feet before receding again. The night was quiet except for the roar of the ocean. There was a peacefulness to the quiet beach, like we existed a world apart from everything else.
Minutes went by, and still Liam did not speak. He occasionally raised his last bottle of beer to his lips, drinking the liquid down like it was the only thing keeping him alive. When it was empty, he dropped it onto the sand beside him, along with the other two empty bottles.
“I’ve tried so hard not to care,” he whispered, “but that’s the problem. I still fucking care, even when I look like I don’t.”
I glanced over at him, surprised he’d spoken. I didn’t dare say anything in response, scared that if I did it would break the spell cast over him.
He roughly scrubbed his hands over his face. “I keep seeing it over and over in my mind. You’d think by now I’d be desensitized to it, but I’m not. All I see is my best friend fucking my girlfriend—the girl I thought I was going to marry one day. I see them both destroying my faith in people. My trust. I realized in that moment people only use me because of who I am…” He laughed, shaking his head. “Because of who my dad is, people think I’m an object. Like I don’t have feelings or something. After that day, I swore that’s what I’d become—someone who doesn’t feel. If you can’t feel, you’re unstoppable.” He let out a pent-up breath. “I went a bit crazy because of that. I performed tricks far too difficult for my skill level at the time. I didn’t care anymore whether I lived or died. Sounds dramatic, I know.” He groaned, rubbing his jaw. “I just wanted to feel something besides the heartbreak. I didn’t want to feel the sting of their betrayal. I ended up getting hurt pretty bad. Ripped my arm on some coral.” He turned his arm so I could see the jagged scar on his bicep. “Took more stitches than you want to know to put me back together.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I’ve never really let myself accept what happened, and so it still hurts today.”
I finally felt brave enough to speak. “Explain it to me then. Maybe if you talk about it, from the beginning, it’ll make you feel better.”
He looked at me doubtfully, but then surprised me by speaking.
“Spencer had been my best friend since we were young. He lived only a few houses away from me when we were growing up,” his voice was soft, almost a whisper, like he hated giving life to this story, “and Kennedy… I met her my freshman year of high school. As soon as I saw her, I was a love-sick fool. Spencer was too,” he groaned. “Normally, one of us would back off if we liked the same girl, but neither of us did this time. We both pursued her and she chose me.” He grew quiet, shaking his head. “Spencer was pissed and told me she only chose me because of my last name. I didn’t believe it for one second. I was blinded by what I felt for her. At the time I thought it was love, but I know now that wasn’t it. Kennedy and I were together all through high school. Until a few days before graduation.” He closed his eyes and a look stole over his face like he was bracing himself for a storm. “I went over to Spencer’s house to grab something. I don’t even know what it was now. I heard them, and I didn’t even think anything of it at first; Spencer dated lots of girls, so it wasn’t anything new for him to have a girl over. But then she said his name, and I knew he was with Kennedy. I recognized her voice. I lost it. I stormed into his room, and there they were. I don’t even really remember what happened after that. I think I blacked it out. I’d trusted Spencer, and I loved Kennedy in whatever way I could really love someone at that age. I’d been with her so long that I’d begun to imagine her in my future. She talked about moving to California with me, saying that she wasn’t ready for college. Now, I think, she just wanted a free ride. If she’d lived with me she wouldn’t have had to have worked or done anything. I would’ve taken care of her, and she knew that. Graduation came, and it was fucking hell. I hadn’t told anyone what happened, and I avoided Spencer and Kennedy like they were the second coming of the plague. The next day, I left. My parents had already bought this house for my graduation present, and I couldn’t take the chance of running into Spencer or Kennedy. So I got here, grabbed my board, and paddled out into the water.” He pointed toward the ocean. “And I vowed to never fall in love again. Love is too messy and complicated, and I don’t need that in my life.” He lowered his head to me, his eyes flickering over my face. “And I was fine with that. Until you.”
Until you.
“You…” he began, rubbing his hands over his face. “Fuck, I don’t even know. I tried to distance myself, but with you living in my house
it’s kinda impossible to avoid you all the time, and more than that, I don’t want to.” He looked at me with glassy eyes. “I like hearing you in the house, and smelling your perfume linger in a room, and seeing you make breakfast. It makes me happy, and I haven’t felt happiness in so long that I’ve tried to fight it. It’s so much easier to feel anger than anything else.” He lowered his hands and looked at me forlornly. “And you know what, Ari, I’m so sick and tired of fighting so hard to be something I’m not. I’m tired of letting the anger eat up my insides. I’m tired of pushing away my family. I’m tired of not trusting anyone but myself. It’s fucking exhausting.”
I tentatively reached out, my fingers shaking—whether from the chilly air, or my own nerves I wasn’t sure—and placed my hand on his arm, sliding it around to rest on his heart. “Then stop fighting,” I breathed. “Show everyone the real Liam.”
He hung his head before sweeping his gaze over me. He started at the top of my head, flicking his eyes over my face, cascading down my neck, and then all the way down to my toes where they were currently buried in wet sand. My toes wiggled beneath his gaze, and I shivered.
“I’m gonna try,” he whispered into the crisp night air.
I cleared my throat and watched the water creep toward our feet. “You need to start by explaining that to your parents.” I glanced over at him, waiting for his reaction. “They love you.”
He collapsed onto his back in the sand, staring up at the starry night sky. “I know,” he mumbled. “Saying it out loud makes me feel so fucking stupid, though. I’ve been such a dick to so many people, and what for?”
“Hey,” I scolded, rolling over to lie on my stomach propping my head in my hands. “You were hurt. Your trust was betrayed by the girl you loved and your childhood friend, and there’s nothing stupid about that. It’s a natural reaction to want to shut yourself off when something bad happens, but you know what, Liam?”
“What?” His voice was gruff and he tilted his head down to me.
