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“You’re wrong,” I bite out. “This … this is selfish. How can you abandon me now?”
“You’ll forgive your dad,” he says coolly. “You’ll move on. You’ll forget me.”
“Stop it,” I beg, tugging on his jacket, almost shaking him. “That’s not what’s going to happen and you know it.”
He looks away. “I’ll forget you.”
“Hollis,” my voice breaks. “Don’t lie to me.”
He slowly brings his eyes back to mine, once more he’s closed them off to me. His gaze is cold, hard, unyielding. “There were plenty before you and there will be many more after you.”
“Stop lying,” I beg. “Stop, please. Don’t do this.”
He closes his eyes and when he opens them he says, “Don’t be pathetic, Mia.”
“You’re trying to make me hate you, but it won’t work,” I tell him, shoving a finger into his chest. “You think you’re leaving out of some sense of … duty or justice or something stupid, but you’re wrong. You’re leaving because you’re scared, because you don’t want to fight this battle together. You think by leaving I’m going to somehow magically forgive my father? That’s not how forgiveness works Hollis. Forgiveness has to be earned. And you know what? I chose you. I choose you—every day.”
His teeth clamp down. “Well, I don’t choose you.”
I gasp, a broken sob leaving me. He pulls from my hold on his jacket. I forgot I’d even grabbed it again after I poked him.
“Please don’t go,” I plead. “I need you.”
He doesn’t say anything.
He leaves and I listen to the sound of his boots hitting each and every stair. The door below opens and closes, just like the door to my heart.
36
Hollis
I hate myself.
I hate myself.
I fucking hate myself.
Lying to Mia, telling her I don’t choose her when everything I’ve done is for her … I don’t think I can ever forgive myself.
I shove the last of my clothes into my bag and zip it up.
“You ready, man?” Cannon asks, poking his head in the door with a pitying look.
“Yeah,” I sigh, hauling my bag over my shoulder, and wheeling my suitcase behind me. A lot of my stuff is still at Mia’s. After what I said, what I did, I couldn’t go back for it. I didn’t want it anyway. It’d only be another reminder of what I had lost.
“Are you sure about this?” Cannon asks me as the four of us get on the elevator.
“It’s for the best.”
He gives me a doubtful look.
I know Mia wants me to stay, fuck she’d already chosen me over her family, but I won’t be the wall standing between them. I refuse to be that kind of guy.
“Maybe you should talk to Hayes?” Fox suggests.
I snort. “Yeah? And say what—sorry you saw me pop your daughter’s anal cherry?”
Rush snorts and covers it with a cough. “That might not go over too … uh … well.”
