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We’re playing a dangerous game, and we both seem helpless to stop it.
I could lose my dad’s trust. Having him disappointed in me seems like the worst kind of punishment even if I am an adult now and can technically do as I please. But more importantly, Hollis’s career is on the line. I don’t want to be responsible for my dad dropping him and The Wild because of something happening between us. I would never get over the guilt.
We don’t exchange another word as the nurse returns with papers for him to sign. He shrugs on his shirt and then we’re heading through the endless halls for the waiting area.
We spot my dad standing with the three guys outside. They haven’t spotted us yet and Hollis’s hand grasps my arm, pulling me into a darkened corner where if they do look inside they won’t see us.
“I don’t know what’s happening here,” he confesses, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “It barely makes sense and confuses the hell out of me, but I don’t dislike this feeling either. You’re making me rethink how I’ve acted in the past, fuck even last week, and it’s not like you’ve even said anything about it. I’ve used plenty of girls in the past, for sex, publicity, whatever. I didn’t care. You make me care. I’m trying my best to be content with being your friend and I think I can be that, you deserve it, and we’ve basically only met anyway, but I want you to know if one day this does go further than this … it’d only be you. I might’ve been a douchebag in the past, but you … you make me want to be better.”
I stare up into those mesmerizing eyes, the color of whiskey and amber, at a loss for words.
I can’t deny I’m attracted to him. But I also can’t deny who he is, where he’s going, and it scares me. My parents might’ve been able to make it work, but I don’t know if I could. If this goes somewhere, if it’d become serious, how would I feel when he’s gone months on end? My life’s here … his isn’t.
“We can’t do this,” I say, and my voice cracks.
My body screams at my words, my desire for him crying out, begging me to give in even if only for one night. But I have to be strong. I can’t give in to this, it’ll only end in disaster.
His jaw clenches. “I understand.”
“I’m okay with being friends. But beyond … it can’t happen.”
I swear I feel my heart shatter into a million pieces in a way it never has before, and I don’t understand it. Why now? Why this guy? There are a million other nice, normal, sweet guys out there? Why is it my heart yearns for Hollis Wilder?
“Friends hang out right?” he questions.
“Y-Yes,” I hesitate.
“What time do you have lunch on Monday?” he asks and I tell him. “Meet me in the parking lot. We’re going somewhere.”
“We’re playing with fire,” I tell him.
He leans down, his lips finding my ear. “I don’t care.”
I close my eyes, breathing in his scent. Pine, wood, and something entirely Hollis.
I don’t care either, and it’s what terrifies me most.
10
Hollis
We’re playing with fire.
Mia’s words echo through my skull as I wait in her school’s parking lot for her class to finish. She texted me the building name and I parked as close as I could get. On the damn sidewalk so she can’t chicken out on me.
I know she’s right with what she said, and I should walk away, not even try to be her friend. But when someone awakens something in you, something so magical that’s never been there before, walking away seems like the most impossible thing in the world.
It figures when I finally feel something real it’d have to be with my boss and mentor’s daughter.
My teeth snap together as I think over my shitty behavior in the past, how Hayes found us in the club in D.C., me with some woman draped over me. I didn’t even know her name. I hadn’t cared.
Of course he’d want someone like me to stay far away from his daughter. Mia is smart, beautiful, kind, sassy, fucking perfect, and deserves a good guy. I’ve done nothing to prove I’m that person for her. Everything points to the self-righteous asshole type. I enjoyed being that way. I won’t lie and say I didn’t have fun, didn’t enjoy it, because I did.
But from the moment I walked out of her bathroom, Mia’s gotten under my skin in a way no one has before. I can’t explain it. It’s not love at first sight, that shit’s crazy, but it’s a connection of some sort. Something pushing me to her saying this person is meant to be in my life in some way.
The doors to her building open and students begin strolling out.
I search for vibrant red hair. It isn’t long until I spot her. She smiles at someone and I read her lips as she says goodbye and heads toward me.
