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Sage looks down at his plate. “I don’t want you to go,” he says softly, “but I understand.”
“I need to do this for me.”
He grabs my hand, squeezing it. “I’m not happy about it, but I get it. Call me. Don’t forget about me.”
“Never. You’re my brother.”
“You’re doing this alone?” I nod. “It’s not safe, D.” He looks concerned.
“I’ll be fine. I’m a big girl. This is what I need to do. I have to get away from here.”
“From here or the memory of him?”
I bite my lip, hesitating. “Both.”
I know Sage is still livid about my relationship with Lachlan. If Lachlan still lived here I’m not certain he’d be breathing. I guess it’s a good thing, for his safety at least, that he moved.
A familiar ache fills my chest at the thought of him. I’m still mad, but I’m mostly hurt now.
Does he think of me as often as I think of him?
He probably doesn’t. I’m the young, foolish, naïve girl who fell for her older guidance counselor.
How pathetic.
I brush my hair over my shoulder, setting my plate aside. I don’t want to eat.
“When will you leave?”
“A few days after graduation. Once I have access to the money.”
“I’ll give you money, Weed.”
“I don’t need your money. Save it.”
He makes a noise in his throat.
“You won’t hate me for leaving, right?” My voice sounds so small.
He chuckles. “You serious?” He raises a brow, looking surprised. When I nod, he says, “I could never hate you. You’re my little sister.”
“I’ve put you through hell.”
Not just in the last couple of months, but nearly the last two years.
He sets his plate down on the coffee table, swiveling his body on the couch so he’s facing me. “You know, this hasn’t been easy. Losing dad, then mom, and being told I’m your guardian … it was terrifying. Not because I didn’t want to take care of you, but because I didn’t want to fuck things up. Things have happened this year that I’m not happy about.” I wince, looking at my lap. “I feel like I’ve failed you, our parents, but look, it’s happened. We can’t change it. And I’ve acted like an asshole a lot through this because I didn’t know what I was doing. I’ve always been your cool big brother and suddenly…” He pauses, shrugging. “Suddenly I was in charge, making decisions I didn’t want to make. But I also found a lot of strength through you.”
“Me?” I blurt incredulously, pointing a finger into my chest.
“Yes, you. I watched you persevere through physical therapy, how you fought to walk again, how you refused to let what happened rob you of your freedom, happiness, of life. You kept going even when you didn’t want to. You gave me the power to keep going too. I said to myself one day, if Dani can do this, then you can too.” He rubs his hand over his mouth. “I couldn’t ask for a better sister than you, and I’m so fucking proud of the woman you’ve become.”
“Don’t make me cry.”
But it’s too late, the tears come, coating my cheeks.
“Get over here, Weed.” He wraps his arms around me, hugging me against his warm, solid chest. I hold onto him. Sage is my rock, the constant I can always count on. He’s the best sibling I could ever ask for. He kisses the top of my head, murmuring, “I want you to be happy.”
“I was happy,” I croak, my sniffles loud in the otherwise quiet apartment.
