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“Then what?” I asked.
“Then you explain yourself, and hope for the best.”
In my life, I’d learned that the best never came, and I expected this to be no different.
chapter seventeen
I sat with my hands clenching the steering wheel.
I’d spent the last thirty minutes sitting in my car unable to back out of the driveway. It had been almost a month since Trent had left and I knew it was time for me to face my fears—to face him—and get everything off my chest.
I knew any chance of a relationship between us had been blown.
I also knew that I owed him an explanation.
I had asked Trace for Trent’s dorm information and where best to wait for him last week. Trace hadn’t pushed me to go after his brother, but he wanted me too. He was optimistic that Trent would get over this, and sweep me into his arms, but that was merely a dream.
“You can do this, Rowan,” I started giving myself a ridiculous, but much needed pep talk, “there is nothing to be afraid of. It’s just Trent. He hates you, but you have to explain yourself. He deserves an explanation.”
I let my head fall against the steering wheel.
“I’m an idiot,” I stated.
Staring down at the dark dashboard, since I hadn’t started the car, I counted. The counting calmed me and gave me something to focus on besides the thoughts in my head.
“You can do this,” I said, not caring if I looked like an idiot sitting in my car talking to myself.
I started the car, turning up the radio and blasting it as I made the two-hour drive to Trent’s campus.
My fingers tapped restlessly against the steering wheel. I was scared to face him now that the truth was out there between us, but I had to. I was definitely scared that he’d refuse to talk to me, or even look at me. I had to try though—even if it crushed me.
I pulled up to the campus and parked my car.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
I took a deep breath and forced myself to open the car door and step out into the frigid winter air. I reached back inside for my mittens, hat, and the book I’d brought with me to give him. I slipped my hands into the warm mittens as I strode across campus, muttering Trace’s directions under my breath. I’m sure to passersby I looked like a crazy person. Maybe I was.
I found a bench outside the dorm that Trace said was Trent’s. Trace had written down his schedule and given it to me, so I knew that Trent should be coming out of the dorm any minute.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
I prepared myself to see him. I wasn’t sure I was ready. But this had to be done.
I sat down on the bench, my eyes refusing to wander from the dorm door. I couldn’t miss him.
“Hey.”
I jumped, startled by the voice. I looked up to see a guy standing in front of me. He had shaggy blonde hair and he was tall with wide shoulders. He looked like a football player or something. He was good looking, sure, but there was only one guy for me.
“Hi,” I replied, knowing I had to answer him.
“I’m Ben,” he introduced himself.
“Mhmm,” I muttered, peering around him at the dorm.
“Are you not going to give me your name?” He questioned.
“No.”
