AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He dotted kisses down my neck and back up, latching his lips onto mine. I knew I wasn’t just being kissed—I was being devoured—and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t enjoying it.
Being kissed like this was an all-consuming thing. I couldn’t think about anything except the feel of his lips on mine and his body pressed against me.
He broke away, panting, and rested his head against the curve of my neck. He stayed where he was, holding me against the wall, with my legs still around his waist.
“Fuck,” he breathed.
“Why’d you stop?” I panted, my fingers curling into his hair.
He pulled his head away from my neck to look at me. “I think it’s pretty obvious that I want you,” he pressed his hips into me and I gasped, “but not here and not like this. You deserve better than a public restroom and I…” He swallowed thickly, his eyes briefly closing. “I deserve to know that you do actually want this. I won’t be able to handle it if you tell me you do and the next day you’re back to ignoring me.”
It hit me then that Trent was actually a pretty sensitive guy. What I had done to
him—what I’d been doing—had hurt him. But I’d been hurt too and my heart was shattered beyond repair. I wanted him, though. That much was true. However, I didn’t think I could give myself to him completely. I had to hope that what I had to offer would be enough for both of us—for now at least, because I knew Trent would eventually find someone better suited for him than me. Besides, I’d never be able to let him in all the way. I couldn’t tell him everything. It was wrong of me to want him for whatever time we could have. We’d both be better off if I spoke up and told him that I couldn’t do this—that I had lied and I didn’t want him. But I couldn’t make myself form those words. Instead, “I do. I want this. I want you,” came tumbling out of my mouth. A huge grin lifted his lips and he kissed me again.
Dread began to fill my stomach. I knew I’d just signed our death sentence, because there was no way my secrets would ever be able to stay buried, and when they surfaced we’d explode like a supernova. After that, it would be the end of Trent and me. No banter, no running from him, no kissing, no nothing, because I would never see him again. He’d remove himself from my life and it would all be over. Despite what I tried to tell myself, I did enjoy Trent’s random popups. Seeing him made me feel alive when I was dead inside. Without those brief moments of aliveness I’d become nothing. I was already nothing, but I’d cease to exist all together.
It was too late though.
I couldn’t take back my words.
I had sealed our fate and all I could do was enjoy this exhilarating ride until it came to an explosive end.
chapter six
The library door clicked closed behind me. It was late and I knew Tristan and Ivy were starving. I needed to get home and make them dinner. I hoped they both had their homework done so I wouldn’t have to bother with that.
I started down the steps when a dark shadow to my right caught my eye.
I was starting to get scared when the person stepped fully into my line of sight. “Jesus, Trent!” I put a hand to my racing heart. “What are you doing creeping around here at night?”
He bit his lip, his hands shoved into the pockets of his coat. His breath formed foggy clouds in the cold air. “I’m sorry for showing up here like this…although I’d think you’d be used to it by now,” he chuckled, biting his plump bottom lip as he eyed me bashfully. “I needed to see you though.”
“You saw me at the restaurant,” I remarked. I was still shocked that I told him that I wanted him. When we’d returned to the table he’d worn a proud smile and been the happiest I’d seen him in a long time. I still wasn’t sure if it was the best idea to explore whatever this was between us. I felt we’d both end up hurt in the end.
“I needed to see you again,” he repeated, taking a deep breath as his eyes briefly closed.
“Are you okay?” I questioned, my gaze carefully sliding over his body to make sure he wasn’t harmed. “Has something happened?”
“Everything is fine,” he assured me. “I needed…I needed to see you before I went to bed. I have to make sure you’re okay with this…whatever this is,” he ran his fingers through his hair. “I won’t be able to handle it if I wake up tomorrow and you’re back to pretending I don’t exist. I’ve waited five years for you to come back around. I can’t…” He stopped, gritting his teeth like he was unsure if he wanted to continue with what he had to say. “I can’t handle it if all you’re doing is messing with me.”
“Trenton…I…I don’t pretend to know everything and I certainly have no idea where we might be headed,” I swallowed, “but I’m yours.”
His blue eyes flared brightly at my words.
I don’t think he understood how much he owned me. Even at sixteen years old he’d ruined me for anyone else. He was all I knew and all I wanted. No one else could ever compare. I’d been through a lot over the years, and even then I’d known I wasn’t worthy of his love. I could never say the words back to him. I didn’t know what it was to love someone that wasn’t family. Regardless, that didn’t stop my attraction. Although, many times I’d wished it had. Even after our night in the tent, when I’d started ignoring him, every time I saw him I’d been attacked by a major case of the butterflies. Over the years that feeling never went away. Trenton was the only man that was able to tempt me. He was like an intoxicating drug that I couldn’t get enough of. I tried to stay away from him—because he might not know it, but we were bad for each other—but like any addict, I could only stay on the bandwagon so long. I was done being good. I wanted what I wanted, and that was Trent. He obviously wanted me too, so why deny myself anymore? It would end, I knew that, but at least I’d have experienced what it was truly like to be with Trent, and I’d be able to look back at those memories with fondness.
“Say it again,” he breathed, reaching up to run his thumb over my bottom lip.
“I’m yours,” I whispered. For now and forever. “I’m done running. I’m done fighting what I feel,” I spoke passionately. “I’m doing this for me.”
“And what is this, Row?” Trent asked huskily, leaning so close to me that if I moved an inch my lips would be on his. “What are we?”
“I-I don’t know,” I answered honestly, “why does it need a definition? Why can’t we just be…us?”
“Just us,” he mused. “I like the sound of that,” he grinned crookedly.
I liked the sound of it too—almost too much, but I wasn’t telling him that.
