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“He’s talking about when you zone out,” Ivy piped in, removing a box of stuffing from one of the plastic bags.
“You do it a lot,” Tristan nodded. “I don’t like it.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was doing it,” I took his small face between my hands, looking into his blue eyes. “I’ll try not to do it again,” I assured him with a light kiss to the end of his nose.
“Stop babying the boy,” Jim said loudly as he entered the kitchen. “If you want him to grow up to be a man you’ve got to treat him like one.” He reached into the refrigerator for a beer. He took several long gulps and let out an obnoxious burp.
“I don’t need your advice,” I snapped. “I certainly don’t want him turning out like you.”
Jim’s eyes flashed with anger. “I might not be the boy’s father, but treatin’ him like a fucking fairy princess isn’t helpin’ him.”
I bit down on my tongue to keep from saying anything else. I knew if I ran my mouth it would only serve to get me in trouble later.
With his beer in hand, Jim headed back to the living room and to his beloved recliner. My mom was already passed out on the couch. One of these days she wasn’t going to wake up—I was sure of it, and I didn’t care. I don’t know what that said about me.
With Ivy’s help I got all the groceries put away.
“Can I help you make dinner tomorrow?” She asked, bashfully looking at the ground.
“Of course,” I said brightly, “I’d love your help.”
“Can I help too?” Tristan piped in.
“Yep,” I lightly poked his tummy, making him giggle. “I like it when you guys help me. You’re the best helpers I know.”
“We are?” Tristan asked with bright round eyes.
I nodded. “The best.”
His small lips turned down in a frown. “Shouldn’t we get a sticker? My teacher always gives me a sticker when I’m a good helper.”
That got me to laugh. “Sorry, I’m fresh out of stickers, but not kisses.” I grabbed him before he could run away and smacked my lips against his cheek.
“Ew, Row! You got lipstick on me!” He tried to wipe off the pink imprint left behind on his chubby cheek.
“It looks good on you,” I joked.
“It’s gross.” He sent me the meanest glare he could muster, which was hardly a glare at all. I didn’t think Tristan had a mean bone in his body.
“Fine then, I’ll wipe it off,” I stood and led him over to the sink. I wet a dishtowel and wiped the lipstick from his cheek. “All gone.”
“I wish y’all would shut up!” Jim yelled. “I can’t hear the damn TV!”
Tristan looked at me with wide eyes. “He said a bad word. He should get soap in his mouth,” he whispered.
I couldn’t help but crack a smile. “Since Jim is cranky, why don’t we go do something in your room,” I suggested. “I can play a game with you guys,” I looked up at Ivy so she’d know I wasn’t only speaking to Tristan.
“Can we build a fort?” Tristan asked excitedly. “I love forts!”
“We can build a fort,” I replied, smiling at his jubilance. Little kids, I had learned, didn’t need much to make them happy. Some parents thought tossing a shiny new toy at a kid was what they wanted. That wasn’t true. All a child wanted was someone to love them, to play with them, to make them feel special. I knew that from watching Ivy and Tristan. I’d also learned from my own experience. As a child, all I had wanted was for my mom to notice me. To be more than a nuisance. It never happened though. I was always in the way. That’s what made me determined to make Tristan and Ivy’s childhood better than mine. I never wanted them to feel unloved or uncared for. I wanted them to know they were special, because it was true. Every child is special. A gift.
Tristan held out his small hand and led me to the bedroom he shared with Ivy.
I spent hours making forts and playing with dinosaurs beneath them. I understood the appeal to building a fort. You could pretend you lived in a different world, a world where nothing could touch you, and bad guys didn’t exist. The blankets served as a cocoon, protecting you from everything evil. You couldn’t stay hidden forever though and eventually the bad guys would find you. They always did.
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“This dinner looks tasty,” Jim patted his round stomach as I leaned over to place the tu
