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This was it.
This was our now.
???
I had thought maybe Trent was going to stand on the sidewalk and kiss me in the snow all day. Finally though, he’d torn his lips away and pressed his forehead against mine. His chest rose and fell with unsteady breaths. Kissing the end of my nose, he’d asked, “Come home with me?”
I hadn’t hesitated to take what I wanted and said yes.
He opened the garage door, parking outside since a sleek black motorcycle occupied the space. As soon as I was out of his car I found my back pressed up against it with his lips assaulting mine.
My legs wrapped around his waist and he gripped me just below my butt. His hips pressed against mine and my lips wrenched from his as I gasped.
He carried me into the garage, hitting a button to close the door. He fumbled for the keys to unlock the door that led into his house. I placed my hand over his to steady him.
He finally got the door open and we burst inside. He kicked the door closed with his booted foot.
My mouth never left his as he carried me up two flights of steps and into the master bedroom. All the while we were tearing each other’s coats off.
He sat down on the end of the bed with me straddling his lap. His stubbled cheeks rubbed against the palms of my hands. I kissed him deeply—with every ounce of passion that possessed my body. I had to show him with my actions how I felt, because words could never compare.
My hair was slightly damp from the snow melting in it and he brushed the strands away from my face as he rained kisses down my arched neck. I was sure, even with the only the slight pressure of his lips, he had to feel how fast my heart was beating.
He tugged my sweater off and tossed it behind me. Scooting farther back on the bed he pulled me with him.
I placed my hands flat against his chest and gave him a slight push. He toppled onto his back and I lowered over him, kissing him deeply as my hair fell forward to create a shield.
His tongue played with mine and a soft moan escaped me.
I thought I’d wanted Trent at sixteen years old, but my feelings then in no way compared to how I felt now.
His hands were all over me, just as mine were with him. Both of us were feeling, tracing, and exploring the other’s body. I didn’t feel shy or hesitant like I thought I would.
My hands skimmed his chest, pushing up the shirt he wore until he sat up to tear it off. He flipped over so he was above me and kissed over my naked stomach.
His fingers found the button of my jeans and he stopped.
He looked up at me and his blue eyes met mine. He braced himself above me, his eyes flicking to my lips and back to my eyes as his fingers lifted my chin.
“Are you sure?” He asked, his eyes closing as if the question pained him. “Are you sure you want this?” He swallowed thickly. “Say the word, and we’ll stop. But if this goes too much further…I don’t know if I’ll be able to. I need you to stop me right now if you’re not okay with this.”
“You’ve tempted me this far, why stop now?”
That was answer enough for him. His lips descended to touch mine as his fingers easily found the button of my jeans.
He pulled them down my thighs and I helped by kicking them off.
“You. Are. Beautiful,” he enunciated each word while staring at a different part of my body. My lips, my breasts, and finally the skin peeking out above the top of my panties. When he looked at me like that, I believed him, in fact I would’ve believed anything he told me in that moment. “I want to love you in so many ways,” he confessed, kissing his way down my stomach. I couldn’t control the shiver that rocked my body. “But I’m scared I’ll end up pushing you away.” His blue eyes lifted to meet mine, stealing my air, my heart, my very soul. “I can’t survive losing you,” he admitted, and I could see how much it killed him to confess those words. “You’re not the one that got away. You’re the one.”
It wasn’t until the words had left his lips that I understood how much I had needed to hear them. A part of me that I fought hard to silence had wondered if that's all I was—the one that got away. He told me I wasn’t though. A weight was lifted off me, a weight I didn’t even realize I was carrying, and I could breathe.
He looked at me, like he was waiting for me to say something, but I didn’t know what.
I reached up and my fingers tangled into the hair at the nape of his neck. “Show me how much you love me,” I swallowed thickly, shocked that the dreaded L word had passed my lips. But neither of us were declaring anything—we were simply showing—and there was a difference, right?
Trent’s eyes closed and when they opened…what I saw there scared me. That kind of look…it consumes you, it changes you, it ruins you. Oh yes, I was definitely ruined.
“Kiss me,” I pleaded. A part of me hated that my voice sounded so breathless with want, but the bigger part didn’t care. I did want him, and I had nothing to be ashamed of.
