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“You’ve really thought this through.” I glanced up at him as he twirled a lock of my hair around his finger.
He nodded with a grin. “I understand if you can’t…or even if you don’t want to.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t want to,” I sat up a bit to look at him, my hair falling forward to conceal my breasts. “I need to think about it though…okay?”
“Take your time, but if we’re going to do this, we leave in four days,” he held up four fingers like I couldn’t count.
My heart was already beating wildly at the thought of spending a whole week alone with Trenton. I wasn’t sure it was the best thing for us—at this point, I didn’t want to let myself get anymore…attached—but if I didn’t go, I’d always wonder what might have happened.
“I need to see if my grandparent’s are okay with keeping Tristan and Ivy that long. The three of us normally spend Christmas with them, and come home a few days before New Year’s,” my eyes studied the unique tattoo on his arm, “so they’d need to keep them longer than normal…”
“Don’t be worried about disappointing me,” he reached up, cupping my cheek.
“I want to go,” I assured him, putting my hand overtop his.
“If you can’t go, maybe…maybe you’d come over to my family’s place, and bring your siblings?” He suggested, biting on his lip, and giving me a look that didn’t have me thinking about what he just said.
I lowered my head and pressed my lips to his. His fingers tangled in my hair as he kissed me back.
“What was that for?” He asked, panting slightly.
“You looked so kissable that I couldn’t resist,” I admitted, looking down shyly. I wasn’t one to spout my feelings or to admit to such things.
“I like this side of you,” Trent remarked, watching me steadily.
“What side?” I questioned with a raised brow.
“The free one,” his thumb rubbed over my bottom lip. “You’re always so closed off, but lately you’ve been opening up more…laughing, smiling, being…free,” he repeated.
“I’ve been through a lot,” I whispered, shame causing me to look down at the carpeted floor.
“I know you have,” he grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him, “and I hope one day, you’ll trust me enough to tell me everything. Until then, I won’t push you, but I will be here for you. I will always be here.”
I closed my eyes, wishing his words were true. I knew he meant them, in this moment at least, but if he knew the truth of what I had done he’d leave and never come back.
???
I finished cleaning up from breakfast and ran around trying to get ready. Before she left last night, Mary had offered me more hours today. More hours meant more money, and I needed all the money I could get.
I pulled on a red button down jacket to brighten up my black skirt and white top. I opened the door to the kids’ room and kissed them on top of their heads. “I have to go in to work, but I’ll be home early today. Be good.”
Tristan clung to my neck. “Don’t go, Row.”
“I have to,” I told him, unwinding his arms from their stranglehold. At Tristan’s age he couldn’t understand that I was doing this for him, for them, in the hopes of giving them a better life. I was doing the best I could, but most times it seemed like I wasn’t trying at all.
I kissed his small hand and ruffled his hair. “I’ll be home before you know it.”
His sad face made it hard to push myself out the door but I had to.
Outside, the cold air whipped around me, blowing my hair in my face. I pushed the strands away and got in my car, rubbing my hands together for warmth as I waited for heat to pour into the frigid vehicle.
I backed out of the driveway, wondering where my step-dad was. He was gone more and more lately, and I was sure yet another divorce was in my mom’s future.
I parked and hurried into the library, ready to be out of the cold.
I was headed to clock-in when Mary called out for me. “Yes?” I turned, searching for the older woman.
When I spotted her she crooked her finger, motioning me to her.
