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And the only one you can never have.
chapter fourteen
Kisses were tenderly pressed against the skin of my neck, down over my breasts, and then a hand eased my shirt up and even more kisses were pressed against my stomach.
“Trenton,” I groaned, trying to roll away, clinging to the soft pillows. I had been sleeping so well and I didn’t want to wake up, even with such sweet kisses. “I’m tired.”
He pinched my waist and pulled my body back over to the edge of the bed. “We need to go,” he whispered in my ear. “We’re going to miss our flight.”
Flight.
Shit.
I’d completely forgotten we were heading home today. My heart stopped in my chest for a second before resuming its beat at a frantic pace. If we were going home, that meant tonight was the New Year’s Eve party, and tomorrow I’d have to tell him that this was over between us. I couldn’t keep doing do this to him—to myself—the longer we were together, the more it created a false hope for a future we could never have.
I suddenly never wanted to leave New York, because as long as we stayed, I could pretend the outside world no longer existed.
“I don’t want to go home,” I mumbled, burying my face in the pillow.
I didn’t see how I could force myself out of this bed to get ready and have to act normal. I had less than twenty-four hours with him, and I knew I needed to make every moment count, but I wasn’t sure I could do it. It would be easier to resort to how I had always been in the past when things bothered me. Withdrawn. Emotionless. Broken.
I took a deep breath and rolled onto my back, cracking my eyes open.
Trent was smiling above me. “We have an hour to get packed and to the airport.”
An hour was plenty of time for me. I wasn’t one of those girls who had to do her hair and pile on gobs of makeup. I didn’t care what I looked like.
Trenton headed out of the room and I was left alone. I forced myself to stand, reluctant to leave behind the comfy bed, and I hated to shed the borrowed t-shirt of Trent’s that I was wearing.
I yawned, stretching my arms above my head.
This had been the greatest week of my life, but also the worst. This had given me a taste at what life with Trent would be like, and I liked it a bit too much. Being with him was so easy. He was well aware of my flaws and he could see past them. He brought out the best in me, something no one else had ever been able to do. Without him in my life, I’d become a drone, simply going through the motions on a daily basis—just like I had done before he came back into my life for a second time.
I padded into the bathroom, brushing my teeth and hair, and packing things into my toiletry bag. I pulled my hair into a bun on top of my head and secured it with a hair tie. I took a quick shower, washing my body with the sugar scented body wash.
I dropped the shirt of Trent’s that I’d been wearing on top of his bag.
I dressed casually for the plane ride in leggings and sweater. I slipped my feet into a pair of flats and checked the bedroom to make sure I’d packed everything before zipping the suitcase closed.
Since Trenton hadn’t returned I took the time to pack his bag too and wheeled them both out to the foyer.
Trent was in the kitchen making us breakfast.
I smiled, taking a seat at one of the barstools. “You know,” I smiled, taking a sip of freshly squeezed orange juice from the glass he’d had waiting, “a girl could get used to this.”
“Well,” he smiled, handing me a plate with scrambled eggs and toast, “if I had my way, you would.”
Guilt threatened to suffocate me. Here I was, smiling and joking with him about a future I was well aware I was about to extinguish.
After that thought hit me, I found it nearly impossible to eat my breakfast.
“Hey,” Trent bumped my shoulder with his, “are you okay?”
I felt like he was always asking
me if I was okay, and I almost never was.
“Just tired,” I replied, using my fork to push the scrambled eggs around the plate.
