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“That’s my son,” Trenton stated, his eyes full of anger. His face was growing red and his nostrils flared.
I nodded. I couldn’t refute it.
“That’s my son,” he repeated, rubbing his jaw. His face was clouded with disbelief. “My son,” his voice grew soft with shock. “Why the fuck did you never tell me?!” He suddenly roared, pointing an accusing finger in my face. His eyes were full of hatred for me. Despite knowing if he ever found out that he’d hate me it still hurt to see that look in his eyes.
My voice seemed to have stopped working. I opened my mouth to speak but no sound came out. My worst nightmare was playing out before me and I was powerless to stop it. This was exactly what I had been trying to avoid for the last five years. I knew letting Trent back into my life, no matter how brief, would have lasting consequences.
“I have a son,” his voice was full of wonder as he glanced at the closed door. “What’s his name?” His eyes stayed glued to the door, like he was willing the small boy to come back outside so he could see him again.
“T-Tristan,” I stuttered, finally finding my voice.
“You gave him a T name,” he whispered under his breath so low that I wasn’t sure I heard him right.
He stared at the closed door, his jaw clenched, and his hands fisting at his sides. He seemed to be battling some internal war.
“I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me!” He twisted back to face me, and I flinched at his harsh tone. I didn’t like him yelling at me, but I understood. This was a shock for him. He had every right to be angry and hate me.
“I couldn’t tell you,” I cried softly, itching to reach out and touch him, but knowing that was the last thing he wanted right now.
I had known there was the possibility he might find out about Tristan, it was a small town after all, but I’d hoped to avoid this. I had been forced to keep this a secret, and it had slowly been killing me inside to stay silent, but I’d had no choice. I wasn’t allowed to say anything to Tristan until he was eighteen, which meant Trent couldn’t know until then either. I had always planned to tell him, knowing that he’d hate me when he found out, but having him see Tristan and find out the truth like this was horrible. I knew he wouldn’t understand why I did it.
“Like hel
l!” He spat, shoving his fingers forcefully through his hair. “I can’t fucking believe you, Rowan! This,” he pointed at the closed door, “is what you’ve been hiding from me! This is the reason you wanted to end this! Didn’t you think I had a right to know?!”
“Of course!” I reached for his arm, but he flinched, backing away from me. “I couldn’t tell you, Trent,” I pleaded with him to understand. “I wanted to, so bad, but I couldn’t.”
“I can’t even look at you,” he muttered, his voice growing quiet once more. “I have to go.”
“Trenton! Please, let me explain!” I screamed as he darted around me, running for his car. “Trent!” I begged. I needed him to stay and hear me out. I had to make him understand. I knew he wouldn’t want anything to do with me after this, but I deserved to explain myself.
“I don’t want to hear it!” He yelled, turning to point an accusing finger at me. “I’m so fucking angry right now! Guess what?” He spread his arms wide. “You’re getting your wish! From this moment on, I’m out of your life!”
He climbed in his car, slammed the door closed, and sped away.
I sunk to the ground, snow seeping into my jeans and chilling me. A sob escaped me, and then tears. I reached up, feeling the wetness with timid fingers. I hadn’t cried in five years, not since I found out I was pregnant and my world came crashing down around me.
I thought I had been broken before…and I was…but Trenton had managed to carefully piece together the shards of me. Now, I was breaking all over again, and this time I knew the pieces would be too small to ever be reassembled.
???
past
My hand shakes as my gaze drops to the slender white stick in my hand. I slide to the floor, my back against the bathroom door.
Pregnant.
Holy shit.
How am I going to raise a kid?
I already take care of Ivy, I don’t see how I can raise my little sister and a child of my own.
Tears coat my cheeks with sticky dampness.
I will the test to change to negative, but of course that doesn’t happen.
I’m going to have a baby.
