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I turned to leave, thinking he was ignoring me, but the door to the office opened then and he waved. “Don’t leave,” he said, noting that I had turned on my heels to flee.
I braced myself for whatever he had to say. I prepared for him to yell and tell me how horrible I was, but that didn’t happen.
“Are you okay?” He asked.
I was confused. Why was he asking if I was okay? “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Well,” he crossed his arms and legs, leaning against the open doorway, “I’m assuming after what my brother figured out the other day, that he said some not very nice things, and so, I’m going to ask you again…are you okay?”
I nodded.
“Don’t lie.”
“I’m miserable,” I muttered.
“That’s what I thought,” he nodded. Pushing his hair out of his eyes, he added, “So is he.”
I flinched. I didn’t want to hear about Trent, about what my secret had done to him.
“I don’t understand why you did it,” Trace pushed away from the doorway and strode towards me, “but I’m sure you had a pretty damn good reason.”
I didn’t have a good reason, not at all.
“I couldn’t tell him,” I whispered. “Tristan doesn’t even know that I’m his mom. He’s not allowed to know.” I bit my lip as tears stung my eyes. I was not going to cry in front of Trace. “I’ll just…leave now,” I muttered, turning to leave.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Trace said, reaching for my arm. “I never said anything about you leaving.”
“What else do you have to say?” I snapped.
“Nothing,” he shrugged, “but I am paying you to work for me.”
“You mean...I still have a job?” I asked in surprise, hope flooding my body. I had been sure Trace was seconds away from telling me to get off his property and never come back.
“Of course you do,” his brows furrowed together. “Am I pissed because you didn’t tell my brother that he’s a dad? Yeah, I am. But I offered you a job, you’re good at it, and I see no real reason to fire you,” he shrugged, bending down to pick up something from the floor. “You’re family now, Rowan. You’re not going anywhere.”
“Thank you,” I gasped, flinging my arms around him and surprising us both with the gesture. He patted my back awkwardly.
When I released him, he smiled and said, “Get to work.”
I grinned, pleased that I still had my job, but my heart panged in my chest with the knowledge that Trenton was hurting.
I headed towards the back of the building where the office was located and Trace called for me. “Yeah?” I stopped, turning to face him.
“Trent’s really pissed right now…but in a few weeks, when he cools off, I think you should visit him and explain things to him. Make him understand.”
“I will.” And I would, even though it would kill me to face Trent and explain everything to him, it had to be done. Right now, all he knew was that he had a son that I had never told him about, and that was it. He needed to know why I couldn’t tell him, and understand how much I had suffered because of my decision. I would regret what I had done every day for the rest of my life, and I knew when I died, I’d burn in hell for it too.
???
I watched Tristan closely.
I saw him with different eyes now that Trent knew the truth.
I could allow myself to truly see the things about my son that were so clearly inherited from his father.
Like his eyes, they were exact same shade of blue that Trent’s were.
And sometimes, when Tristan was concentrating on something his nose would crinkle, and I’d often seen Trent do the same thing.
