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He put a hand to my forehead, his nurse instincts kicking in. “Please, come inside.”
“Not yet.” I lay back on the ground, staring up at the stars. They sparked above me, so pretty. Surprisingly, they weren’t as clear as they’d been on his grandpa’s farm. As a little girl I’d loved stargazing. Graham and I used to camp out on the trampoline and look at the stars until the wee hours of the morning. I wondered if, like Jerry said, one of those stars up there was Graham. He’d certainly shined brighter than most people. I’d lost my best friend, not just my brother, when he died. I was learning that I’d always feel his absence, but I’d have to find a way to deal with it. Pain doesn’t have to shut you down.
Jude lay down beside me and entwined our hands together. He gave mine a reassuring squeeze.
I felt tears coat my cheeks. They weren’t necessarily tears of sadness, although there was a little of that. Instead, they were tears of acceptance.
Jude’s finger brushed against my cheek and he startled at the wetness.
“Why are you crying?”
“Because,” my lower lip trembled, “he’s gone and I’m here and I handled everything wrong.” I turned my head towards Jude, taking a deep breath. “I’m so sorry for how mean I’ve been to you.” I grasped the soft cotton of his sweatshirt in my hands and drew myself closer to his body, curling into him. “I see now how wrong I was for everything. Not just with you, but with everybody. I distanced myself, even from Rowan, because I never wanted to feel the pain of losing another person ever again. It hurt too much. But what’s life without a little pain, right?” He wiped my cheeks free of tears. “I’m accepting that he’s gone and I can’t change the past, but I can change my future.” I clung to him, like my grasp on his sweatshirt could hold me together. “You make me happy,” I whispered. I needed him to hear the words, to grasp the meaning. “What I feel for you scares me so much. So much,” I reiterated. “Love is a messy, complicated thing that I wanted to avoid. But you, Jude Brooks, are unavoidable. Please, be patient with me. You know how stubborn I can be. Don’t lose faith in what we have. Wait for me, please.”
“Always,” he cupped my cheek. “You’re worth it.” He pressed his lips tenderly against my forehead and I sighed in relief. In his arms I didn’t just feel at peace…I was home.
Chapter Nineteen
We eventually went back inside and got a few hours of sleep, but soon Trent and Row were demanding we get up.
Rowan smiled with satisfaction when she opened the bedroom door and found us in the same bed with Jude’s arms wrapped firmly around my body.
I dressed in comfy clothes for the journey home and Trent came in to get one of my bags. Jude grabbed the other. Just like when we got here.
When I stepped out of the room the door across from our room was open. It had been closed the whole time we’d been here and I hadn’t ventured to explore. This wasn’t my house and I didn’t want to be nosy.
My mouth fell to my toes when I saw what lay beyond.
A single queen-sized bed.
Those liars. I just knew there had to be three bedrooms in a home this large.
Trent caught my expression and smiled sheepishly as he started down the steps. “She made me lie.”
Jude peeked over my shoulder to see what had caused me to stand still in the doorway. He began to snicker. “Remind me to thank her later.”
“Will do!” Trenton called as he ran down the rest of the steps as fast he could.
I started to laugh. A small part of me wanted to be mad, but it was pointless. I’d enjoyed sharing a room—and bed—with Jude far too much to get angry about it now. Rowan The Matchmaker. Who knew? She’d been so against loving Trenton, but now she wanted everyone else to have love too.
I finally got my feet moving and we piled in the car.
In the backseat I laid my head upon Jude’s shoulder and soon I fell asleep. I was awakened two hours later when we stopped for breakfast. It had been dark when we left, but now the sun was shining in the sky.
For the rest of the drive I slept off and on.
Jude awakened me gently when we arrived at my house.
“Hey sleepyhead,” he murmured, kissing the corner of my mouth.
I rubbed my eyes, blinking at the large house in front of us. I almost didn’t recognize it.
Jude reached up and tucked a stray piece of hair back into place behind my ear. There was a sadness in his eyes, like he was afraid to part ways. I was too, so I was glad I wasn’t alone.
“Time to go home,” he said forlornly.
I
nodded, unable to find my voice.
