AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Jude invited me and I wanted to get out for a bit,” Rowan shrugged. “This is my last chance to do something like this.”
I guessed she was right, what with taking care of two kids. Rowan and Trent had a son together, a son Trent didn’t even know he had until a little over a year ago. In fact, I hadn’t even known Rowan had a son. She’d claimed he was her brother, and no one had a reason to doubt her. After her mother died, she also got custody of her little sister Ivy.
I didn’t say anymore, because I didn’t want to ruin tonight for Trent and Row. They didn’t get out enough as it was. At least they were happy unlike most people.
I didn’t know where Jude lived, but when we turned down a street lined with cars, I knew this must be where the party was. The townhouse was close to campus and I figured other college kids had to occupy the neighborhood to put up with all the people hanging around and the loud music. Trent parked the car along the street and we all hopped out. I suddenly felt very nervous. I hadn’t been to a party since high school and it hadn’t ended well.
I followed behind Trent and Rowan. I kept my head low—afraid of being recognized. To this day, some people still only saw me as Graham’s little sister—he’d always been popular and people older and younger than us knew who he was—and I couldn’t handle the looks of pity. He’d been gone for seven years now. I would always miss him, but I was no longer grieving. But when people looked at me with such sadness it always brought back memories better left buried.
I stepped into the townhouse and was shocked by the amount of people inside. I really regretted agreeing to this now. I hated mingling and I refused to be Trent and Row’s third wheel all night.
“I’m the designated driver,” Trent turned around to tell me, “so feel free to drink whatever you want.”
“I don’t drink,” was my response. I had never taken one sip of alcohol, not since Graham got drunk and crashed his car.
Trenton’s brows drew together. Before he could say anything more, I separated myself from them. I heard Rowan call my name but I didn’t turn back.
The three level townhouse was packed with fellow college students. I didn’t recognize most of them. Probably because I’d never made the effort to get to know anyone besides Rowan.
I pushed through the crowd of bodies, heading to the second level. I hoped it would be less crowded. Wrong.
There were buckets of ice, overflowing with bottles of beer. That wasn’t what I wanted. I sauntered over to the refrigerator, pushing people out of my way when I needed to, and searched for a bottle of water.
Mountain Dew.
Coca Cola.
Dr. Pepper.
And beer. Lots of beer.
Was this all college guys drank? They were going to have liver failure before their thirtieth birthday.
I grabbed a bottle of Dr. Pepper, it might not have been water but at least it wasn’t alcohol.
Some heavy rock song played from an iPod dock sitting on the counter. I was tempted to replace it with mine—which was filled with country, but I wasn’t in the mood to get in a fight with Jude or anyone else for that matter. I didn’t even want to be here. I wanted to go home. Was it acceptable to stay five minutes and leave? I totally would if I had my car.
You know, it was just my luck that the one time I wanted to get out and agreed to go to a party it would have to be at Jude’s. I couldn’t escape him no matter how hard I tried.
I spotted a couple making out on the couch. A part of me was disgusted by their display, but a small piece was jealous. I’d never had a relationship like that. I wasn’t saying that I was the Virgin Mary, but I’d never been in love. There had never been a guy I pined for from afar. I hadn’t kissed someone in the rain. Or fought and made up. I hadn’t found someone worth sharing the darkest parts of myself with, or even the good parts.
I turned away from the couple before I got overly emotional for no reason.
I moved through the people gathered in the middle of the living room, looking for a place I could hide out until Rowan and Trent wanted to leave.
I spotted a door leading out onto the deck. No one was out there, since it was such a chilly night, so I decided to make my escape there.
I was almost to the door when I spotted a bowl of gummy bears on the coffee table. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling as I recalled Jude telling me he loved them.
Feeling devilish I reached out for a handful, then decided to take the whole bowl. They were my gummy bears now.
Nobody paid me any attention as I slid open the deck door. I’d long ago realized that even though Graham was the one that died, I sort of became a ghost too. I’d allowed that to happen by avoiding people, and refusing to get to know new ones, so it was my own fault.
The deck was small with two chairs. I picked one of the plastic Adirondack chairs and looked up at the shining full moon and twinkling stars. It was such a pretty night. I thought people didn’t appreciate the beauty of the night sky enough. There was something breathtaking about its simplicity.
I propped my legs up on the railing and popped a gummy bear in my mouth. It tasted so good that I ended up eating another, and another, until half the bowl was gone and my stomach was starting to feel upset.
I laid my head back, my eyes feeling heavy. I would be the person to fall asleep at a party.
