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I laugh too. “Thank you for being here too.”
“That’s more like it.”
Casey breezes back into the room. “The nurse said she’d let the anesthesiologist know that you’re ready.”
“Oh, thank God.” Sweat dampens my forehead. “They’re getting so much worse.”
What feels like forever later, but is probably only minutes, the anesthesiologist comes into the room to give the epidural. The drug hits my system and all the pain goes away.
“Feeling better?” Ryder asks, rubbing my shoulder.
“Much,” I say, looking at him gratefully.
Casey fake gags. “Oh my God, you guys are so disgustingly in love.”
I laugh. “You will be one day too, just you wait.”
She makes a face. “Never.”
After a little while, she and Hannah head to the food court to get something to eat for dinner.
“You can go too,” I tell Ryder. “You must be hungry.”
He shakes his head. “I’m not leaving you.”
“You know,” I begin, rubbing my thumb against his fingers where our hands are twined together, “it should probably be weird having you here, but I honestly don’t feel that way. And I’m so sick of worrying about the way I should think or feel instead of owning the way I do feel.”
“And how do you feel?” he asks.
I laugh. “Like I’m hopelessly in love with you.”
His lips quirk into a smile. “Back at ya.” He rises up and kisses my forehead.
I’ve worried for months that I was trying to replace Ben with Ryder, but that was never the case. I didn’t fall in love with what I wanted him to be, I fell in love with who he is. I love him for him. He’s not a replacement. He’s just the man I love.
I once believed you only had one special love in life—one chance to get it right.
I was wrong.
There are infinite chances. Infinite people to complete you.
I will always love Ben, that hasn’t changed, but I’ve found someone else I can love just as much.
Hours later they check me and it’s time to push.
“Do you want me to leave?” Ryder asks again.
I tighten my hold on his hand and he stands up beside me. “Never,” I say.
Everything happens in a rush after that, or so it feels like.
I push and I push while Ryder whispers words of encouragement in my ear.
“You’re doing great. Keep pushing. A little more. You’re so strong, Blaire. You’ve got this.”
And then, I hear it.
My baby’s cry.
