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“I’m fine, but mom isn’t.”
“What happened?” he demanded.
It made me mad that he sounded so worried about her. If he cared so much why would he have left her?
“She tried to commit suicide.” I choked out in between sobs.
“Is she going to be okay? I’m getting a plane ticket!” He declared.
I could see him puttering around his room looking for his wallet.
“No dad!” I nearly screamed into the phone.
“Why not?” He demanded.
“Because you’ll make it worse. Why do you think she tried to commit suicide?”
“I don’t know.” He whispered.
“Because of you, dad! You broke her heart. Did you know she was taking depression medication again? Huh?”
“No. I thought she was finally okay with it.” He said exasperated.
“Well . . . That’s how she tried to kill herself. Overdose.”
“I can’t believe this.” He said sounding near tears.
“I can. When we arrived yesterday she wasn’t herself. Distant, she wouldn’t eat or drink and she was the same this morning. I got home from school and she was still like that. Our neighbor, Jonathon brought us dinner and . . .” my voice cracked. “When I went to get her to eat dinner she wouldn’t move or speak. I was so scared. If it weren’t for Jonathon she would have died. He drove us to the hospital and still nothing. Dad, she hasn’t woken up, talked, or moved since we’ve been at the hospital. I’m scared and the only person I have is Jonathon. Not you.”
“You do have me sweetie and your brothers.”
“Ha! I haven’t even told them yet! I don’t need them missing classes! If she gets worse I’ll call and tell them to come but right now I don’t need to worry them! And I don’t have you! You sent mom and me as far away from you as you could get us! You didn’t want us ruining your perfect little world! So don’t tell me you care! I just thought you should know what you’ve done!” With that I hung up.
“Bravo,” said Jonathon grinning and clapping.
“How much did you hear?” I asked embarrassed.
“Just the last part about how you were sent as far away as possible and then what was after that.”
“Did you laugh?”
“No. You needed to say what you did. You’ve been through a lot haven’t you?”
“Yeah it’s been rough.” I said pulling Jonathon’s jacket tighter around my body. Jonathon knew I didn’t want to talk about it anymore so he didn’t say anything else. It’s like we could communicate silently to one another.
The doctor chose that moment to come in and check on my mom. She said she was doing fine and not to worry. I listened to her reassurances but it didn’t matter. My mom had done what she did to die. To die and leave me. To leave me alone. I wasn’t sure that I could ever forgive her selfish act.
After she left Jonathon turned the couch into a small bed.
“Thank you,” I said as he placed a pillow on the bed. “For everything.” I added.
“You’re welcome.” He said.
Jonathon had brought back a warm blanket along with the pillow. But I wouldn’t take off his jacket. It felt comforting. I climbed onto the bed stretching my legs from hours of sitting in the chair. Jonathon sat down in the chair I had been occupying.
“No.” I said.
“What?” He asked confused.
