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I took the winding path to the swing.
“Diana,” I called as the white swing came into view. Her long blond hair blew lightly in the wind.
“Yes,” she replied putting her book down.
“Sorry to bother you,” I shrugged.
“Don’t worry about it,” she smiled. “I never see you anymore. Not after…”
“I know,” I cut her off. “And I’m sorry about that. I’m trying to move past it. I was wondering if you could drive me to a drug store or something. I just don’t think I feel up to driving.”
“Sure,” she tilted her head quizzically. “But why?”
I sighed. I should have known she would ask questions. “Because I think I’m pregnant… again.”
“Oh,” she stood slowly, eyeing me carefully. “Does Jonathon know?”
“No,” the word burst from my mouth, “and I’m not telling him. Not yet at least. I might not be after all. I just… I want to wait until I see the doctor…”
“Okay,” she eyed me, looking at me like someone might look at a person that was about to jump off a building. Was I really in that bad of shape? “Do you want to go now?”
“I’d prefer that.”
“Alright,” she sighed and we started back inside. She grabbed her car keys and sunglasses. She started her car and headed into the little town a couple miles away. “Are you going to be okay?” she asked.
I looked away from the window so I could see her face. “I have to be,” I fingered the soft fabric of the sweatpants I was wearing. “I can’t be sad for the rest of my life. But… if it doesn’t happen this time I’m going to tell Jonathon that I’m done. I’ll have him turn me. I can’t go through this again. I’m already twenty years old. That’s two years older than Jonathon. I can’t let this keep going on. I made my decision that I want him forever and if a baby isn’t meant to be a part of that forever then so be it. I’m done trying. This is the last time.”
“Wow,” Diana gasped. “That’s a lot to take in.”
“It is, but I’ve had plenty of time to think this through. I’ve made my decision and when I make a decision I stick to it.”
“But this decision lasts for eternity. There’s no going back,” she warned.
“I know,” I said. “Believe me. I’ve thought long and hard about this. It wasn’t an easy decision. Not at all.”
Diana sighed and looked over at me. The pity in her eyes pained me. I had to look away from her and out the window. I felt her cold hand press softly against mine. “You’ll be okay,” she said. “One way or another.”
“I know,” I breathed as she pulled into the parking lot.
“I’ll come with you,” she turned the engine off and dropped the keys into her purse.
“Thanks,” I gave her a slight smile.
I found a pregnancy test that I figured I’d be able to understand and asked to use the store’s bathroom. Diana waited outside the door. A few minutes later she knocked lightly on the door. “Is it ready?”
“Almost,” I explained, pulling my hair into a ponytail. When it was ready I opened the door.
“Well?” she asked.
“It’s positive,” I turned it towards her so she could see.
She smiled hesitantly. “Congratulations?” she said but it sounded more like a question.
I smiled lightly. “I guess I better go see Dr. Crane. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to see me again,” I mumbled.
Diana laughed.
“That man is baffled by me,” I couldn’t help but laugh.
