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The rest of the session went much the same way. She wanted me to come back on Monday after classes, and something told me that she’d be ready to get down to the gritty stuff. I hoped I was ready.
***
“Rae, wait up!”
I stopped at the sound of my name being called. Snow flurries fluttered around me, sticking to my lashes. I was glad I’d worn a beanie and scarf, even though the weather hadn’t called for more snow.
Cade jogged up to me, his breath fogging the air with each exhale. “I’ve been looking all over for you. You didn’t answer your phone and Thea said you left early this morning and didn’t say where you were going. I was worried your head was bothering you and you’d gone back to the hospital.”
“My head’s fine,” I assured him.
“I’m glad to hear that.” He blew into the palms of his hands to warm them. “Where’d you go?”
I looked away, toeing the ground. I’d expected him to ask, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to tell him. I couldn’t lie though. Lying would only make my problems worse.
“I went to see a therapist.” I looked into his eyes, waiting to see if he reacted in any way.
He smiled. “That’s great, Rae. I think that will be good for you.”
That definitely wasn’t the reaction I’d expected. Most people, when you told them you were seeing a therapist, replied with, “A therapist? Like a shrink? Are you crazy or something?”
I should’ve known Cade wouldn’t react that way. He never did what I expected him to. He was constantly surprising me and in the best ways possible.
“Thanks, I hope so.” I reached up, grabbing a strand of hair that stuck to the gloss coating my lips.
Dropping the subject from my therapy session, he asked, “Are you hungry? I thought we could go out for lunch?” He rubbed his hand around his stomach absentmindedly.
Now that he mentioned it I was starving. In my haste to get to the therapist’s office I’d forgone breakfast.
“Lunch would be great,” I smiled.
“I know it might be too soon,” he rocked back on his heels, “but do you think you’d be up to meeting some of the guys on the team afterwards? I’m supposed to meet them at the gym at one. Eric won’t be there,” he hastened to add.
“Uh…” I paused, thinking. “That would be fine.”
He grinned and the dimples in his cheeks popped out. “They’re going to love you, Rae.”
I hoped so. The last thing I wanted was to be known as the weird girl by the football team. But knowing me I’d do something stupid to make them hate me. Or Eric had gotten to them and told them some disastrous lie about me.
“What’s with that face?” He chuckled, reaching out to guide my chin up so that I was eyelevel with him.
“What if they hate me?” I frowned.
He grinned crookedly and lowered his head so he could whisper in my ear. “I’m going to let you in on a secret, Rae. You’re impossible not to like.”
I snorted at that. I disagreed completely with that statement. All I did was push people away.
But then why do you have friends now? A little voice in my head piped up.
“What? You think I’m lying?” He pushed strands of his hair from his eyes.
I shrugged. “I’m not the nicest person.” Rachael had been nice. She loved everybody. Rae…not so much.
Cade reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. His fingers lingered longer than necessary against the skin of my cheek. “You’re nicer than you think you are. You’re way too hard on yourself.”
Sadly, I felt like most times I wasn’t hard enough.
“They’re going to love you,” he repeated. “Trust me.”
