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A fresh start.
five
My first two weeks of classes flew by and I began to settle into my new life. Despite my thoughts on first walking into my dorm and meeting Thea she was actually pretty cool. In fact, I kind of even liked her. I hadn’t wanted to make friends here, but Thea was pretty impossible to ignore and she was determined to be my friend. We met up for lunch and dinner every day and often hung out in
our dorm and around campus together.
I hadn’t seen Cade at all in the last two weeks—not since our run in at the coffee shop.
That should’ve been a good thing, but instead I found myself looking for him every chance I got. From whispers on campus and what I’d gathered from Thea, he was like a superstar here. I thought guys like him—you know, the super hot jock types—craved attention, but Cade stayed hidden. He was a pretty unusual guy.
Since he seemed to have disappeared that meant my morning runs had been relatively quiet and pretty boring. I never thought I’d like having someone run with me, but leave it to Cade to ruin it for me. Now running didn’t seem as much fun without him. On the few mornings we’d run together we hadn’t even spoken much, but Cade seemed to calm and center me. He had a weird effect on my body. I wanted to hate it, but I didn’t. Cade made me feel alive when I’d been dead inside for far too long.
I knew it would be better if I stayed away from him—far, far away—but I wasn’t sure I was strong enough for that. Something about him drew me in and I was too weak to resist—just like I couldn’t seem to resist becoming friends with Thea. The Montgomery siblings were pretty impossible to dislike. They both had a magnetism to them and it was nice to have people in my life that didn’t know what I’d done. Back home, I’d been judged and looked down upon—not that I could blame anyone for their hatred. What I’d done had been wrong, so very wrong. But I was human and I craved normalcy, and for the first time in a year that’s what I was finally feeling. Normal. I’d almost forgotten what it felt like.
I knew I was being silly to even be thinking about Cade. After all, I hadn’t seen him in a while, but the jock had invaded all my thoughts.
Realistically, he was probably avoiding me and had found someone else that actually returned his feelings—because while he might’ve made me like him, it didn’t mean I wanted him in that way. You know, a sexual way, because I so wasn’t going there. Sex complicated things, and when feelings were involved…yeah, that was a bomb I wanted to avoid at all costs.
“Hey,” Thea smiled, appearing in the doorway of the bathroom where I stood brushing my hair. “We should go out tomorrow. We’ve been cooped up on campus for too long. I’m bored.”
I resisted the urge to wince. “Going out isn’t exactly my thing.”
“Is anything your thing?” She countered. She had a valid point there.
“Not really,” I replied honestly. Once upon a time it had been, but not anymore.
She jutted out her bottom lip and brought her hands together in a pleading manner. “Please,” she begged, “Please, please, please? We don’t have to go to a club or anything like that. Ooh! Ooh!” She suddenly raised one arm excitedly, like a little kid in school desperate to be called on because they knew the correct answer to the teacher’s question. “I know! This weekend is the end of the carnival! Let’s do that! It’ll be fun!”
I wanted to say no, but I found myself saying, “Okay.” Apparently it was impossible to say no to Thea. Actually, it was more than that. Despite my vow to not make my friends here, I was actually desperate for it, and I wanted her to like me. Yeah, I was weird, but at least I was aware of it.
She let out a shriek and wrapped her thin arms around my neck. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She chanted. “This is going to be so much fun!”
You would’ve thought I told her that her favorite actor was going to be sleeping in our room with how excited she was.
“Yay.” I shook my hands around, feigning excitement.
Thea backed away, into the dorm room, and grabbed up her bag. “I better go, I’m going to be late for class.”
I looked down at my phone and paled when I saw the time. Crap. I was going to be late too. I was losing track of time more often thanks to my wandering thoughts.
I grabbed my bag from the room and ran out the door. Thea hurried behind me and once we exited the dorm we headed our separate ways. She tossed a cheery, “See you later,” my way, but I didn’t reply.
I breezed into class with a few minutes to spare. I took a seat next to a girl name Novalee. She had purple hair, a sprinkling of freckles across her nose, and a pierced eyebrow. I’d seen some of her photos and she was amazing—the kind of photographer I was envious of.
She glanced up when I sat down and I forced a smile. She did the same.
Our professor came in and began the lesson. Before it was over he started discussing a project that would run all semester long and we were to work with a partner. He was hoping since each of us had such a distinct style we would be able to learn something from each other and at the end of the semester we were to turn in a collage showcasing our collaborated work.
“Find someone to work with,” he waved his hands dismissively, “and then you can get out of here.”
I turned to Novalee and she was already looking at me. A single brow arched on her forehead, but she didn’t say anything.
“Want to work together?” I asked.
“Sounds good.” She shrugged, picked up her bag, and left.
I think I’d finally found someone that hated talking as much as I did.
