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Cade flips us off while we laugh.
When we spot the Jeep with Rae waiting outside of it, my big, burly, bear of a brother grins like a kid on Christmas and flat-out sprints for her. He scoops her up into his arms and spins her around while her giggles carry through the wind to us. It’s nice to hear her laugh. Last August, when we were first assigned as roommates, she was so moody and quiet. She recently filled me in on what happened to her a year before coming to college and I completely understand why she was so closed off and cold. I would be too if I’d gone through something like that.
But now that girl is merely a shadow. The Rae she is now smiles, laughs, and cracks jokes. She’s practically a whole new person, but I know this is the real Rae.
While Cade and Rae are lost in each other, Xander and I sidle up to
the car and load our bags into the back. By the time we’re done, they’ve managed to break apart, but they’re both sporting the lusty eyes that make me gag.
“How was your trip?” Rae asks.
“Exciting,” Xander answers.
Cade snorts. “If you call sitting in a room all day listening to a guy drone on and on about blueprints then, yeah, exciting.”
Rae laughs, her hand pressing against his chest as she smiles at him. “But you guys stayed the weekend. Surely that part was fun?”
Cade shrugs. “It would’ve been better if you were there.”
I mock-gag. “Stop,” I whine. “I can’t take it.”
Cade chuckles, his hand sliding to Rae’s waist, and nuzzles her neck. “Let’s go home.”
Those three words are the best thing I’ve heard all day, and I can’t get in the car fast enough. Xander gets in beside me and we’re silent the whole drive home, but Rae and Cade don’t notice since they never shut up. But I notice the silence, and there’s been too much of it between us today, and despite what Xander said about not wanting this marriage to change things between us, I can’t help but feel, and know in my gut, that it’s changed everything.
We get home, and almost immediately, Cade and Rae leave. After a week apart, they want alone time and they can’t really get that with two roommates, which leaves me alone in the house with my husband. How fucking weird is that?
Xander and I part ways in the hallway, but immediately bump into each other considering we share a Jack and Jill bathroom. We each unpack our bags in silence, and I swear I can feel each second ticking off in my head.
I put my toothbrush in the holder, right next to his, and look up at him. He’s so incredibly tall that I have to tilt my head back to really look at him and I’m by no means short.
Crossing my arms over my chest, I say, “This is ridiculous.”
“Glad you agree.” He sets his aftershave on the counter.
“I don’t know what to say.” My hands fall to my sides, shoulders sagging in defeat. “And you know that’s unusual for me.” I laugh but it sounds forced. “We said this wouldn’t change things, but look at us. It already has.” I frown.
He crosses his arms over his chest and leans his hip against the counter. He looks me over, trying to read what I’m thinking from my posture, and presses his lips together. “Is it the marriage that has changed things?” he asks. “Or the sex.”
I nearly choke on my own tongue. When I sober, I admit, “Both, I guess. It’s … weird.” I bite my lip, staring hard at his chest, remembering the way it felt pressed against me. “We crossed a line, and I don’t think we can uncross it.”
“So why try?” he asks as his arms fall. In one swift move, he’s in front of me, cornering me against the wall beside the door leading into my room. His eyes fall to my lips and slowly make their way back up, connecting with mine. “We can still be friends and acknowledge the fact that there’s more between us.” His fingers ghost against my chin—they touch there and gone in a second, so fast I’m not sure it really happened.
My heartbeat flutters like a frightened bird, trapped behind my ribcage and desperate to break free. I lean my head against the wall, looking up into his dark eyes. They’ve always looked at me with such … sweetness and maybe the occasional hint of lust or desire, but right now, he looks at me like I’m the answer to every question he’s ever had.
When I don’t speak, he adds, “You’ve already agreed to stay married to me for the summer, I think that implies that we see where things go.” He grasps my hips, digging his own into my center and I can feel his hard length. I moan, holding onto his sides so I don’t collapse onto the floor. “I want you to know you can talk to me, though. You always have. Your fears, your desires, whatever it is, I’m here to listen.”
“Even when it’s about you,” I breathe.
He chuckles, tipping my chin up. “Even then.”
I lay my head against his chest and wrap my arms around his body. He hugs me back, resting his head on top of mine. I feel him exhale a deep breath and his thumbs rub soothing circles on my back.
I step out of his embrace, and he looks me over with uncertainty shimmering in his eyes. “I’m okay,” I tell him, knowing he needs to hear it. “Promise.”
He nods once and disappears into his room.
I head into my room, smiling at the familiarity. It’s good to be home. My room is an explosion of pink and cream. Rae has never been able to get over my love for the color pink. I wouldn’t even say that I’m that much of a girly girl—I just like the color.
