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When the tub is nearly overflowing with water I shut it off.
The first tear falls, disappearing into the bubbles and the water below.
I was prepared for the pregnancy test to be negative, I honestly figured it would be, but I didn’t expect it to hurt this munch. The unexpectedness is jarring.
I think in the back of my mind I assumed since I got pregnant so easily with Greyson this would be no different.
But assumptions are rarely correct.
I take a deep breath, trying to rid myself of the tears, but they only come faster and harder.
I sink under the water, holding my breath for as long as I can.
My lungs start to scream and I surface, water sloshing onto the floor as I gasp for air.
“It’ll be okay,” I whisper to myself.
I sniffle, wiping at my face. I can’t tell what’s tears and what’s bath water now.
I guess it doesn’t matter.
I lean my head against the back of the tub, looking up at the ceiling.
We all make the mistake of thinking everything we want will fall into our lap, but it never ends up like that. You have to work for things—prove it’s worth having.
I take a shuddering breath, gathering my hair over my shoulder.
This is only a blip in time.
One bad moment among many good.
It’ll get better.
It has to.
Jace
It’s hard watching the person you love get beat down month after month.
June bled into July, which turned into August, and here we were in September with another negative pregnancy test.
Nova’s shoulder’s hunch, shaking with silent tears.
This is one of those times I don’t know what to do or say because she keeps pushing me away.
She forgets I’m affected by this too.
I rub my hand against her back and she stiffens like she doesn’t want me to touch her, but I refuse to pull away. I won’t let this drive a wedge between us.
She shudders and her gaze meets mine in the mirror. “I don’t understand,” she murmurs.
“It doesn’t always happen overnight,” I tell her, though, if I’m being honest, I thought that in the beginning.
She swivels around to face me so fast I nearly get whiplash. “I got pregnant with Greyson when I was sixteen—when I certainly didn’t want to get pregnant. So why isn’t it happening now?”
I frown, her words soaking into my brain. Nova had a kid, which means she’s definitely capable of getting pregnant, so does that mean something is wrong with me?
Her brown eyes meet mine, full of sadness and hurt.
