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I’m terrified to tell him—worried he’ll try to change my mind.
But I know there’s nothing he can do or say that’ll make a difference.
I knock on the door and wait.
He opens the door and looks at me quizzically. “Did you forget your key?”
I shake my head—I already feel like I don’t live here. Like this isn’t my home.
I step inside and take a breath before facing him, my chin held high.
“I’m leaving.”
He gapes at me, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. “W-What? What do you mean?”
I squish my eyes closed and pop them open, meeting his pained gaze. It cuts me to the core, but I don’t mind it because at least I feel something.
“I mean, I can’t do this. I can’t keep staying here and pretending nothing is wrong when everything is a disaster.”
“I-I … We can fix this.”
I shake my head. “I’m too broken. You can’t fix this for me, Jace. God, I wish you could.” I fight tears. “But I have to fix myself, and I can’t do it here.”
“Where are you going? Are you staying with Xander and Thea? Cade and Rae? Joel?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“No?” He looks at me quizzically. “Where the fuck are you going then? Not back to your parents?”
I shake my head again. In a small voice I say, “I’m going to see Owen.”
He laughs but there’s no humor in it. “You’re kidding, right?”
“No,” I say softly. “I need a change of scenery, a change of pace.”
He glowers at me. “You mean you don’t need me?”
“Jace …”
He laughs again. “This is rich.” He grabs at his hair and then meets my eyes with his pain filled ones. “Why are you doing this to us? I love you. My life means nothing without you.”
I fight back a flood of tears. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t leave,” he pleads. “We can work this out. I’ll go somewhere if that’s what it takes. But please, don’t leave,” he begs.
“I have to do this. I have to.”
“How long will you be gone?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. A few days. A month. However long it takes.”
He stares at me, the distance between us growing though neither of us moves.
“Are we breaking up?” he finally asks. “Just tell me, Nova. Don’t give me false hope.” He takes a shuddering breath and his face flashes with pain. “Are you going to Owen because you still love him?”
“I don’t love him,” I say adamantly. “I told you, I need a change of scenery and I can’t do that here. I need to be somewhere entirely new that isn’t a constant reminder of what I lost here—”
