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“Things have been crazy this week. I am working overtime this week. I’ve got to be on top of my classes, work, and I haven’t taken Riley on a walk.”
Her mouth curved into a faint smile, but she couldn’t mask her discontentment. “I know what college was like. I just graduated this summer. Didn’t you say that you have a dog walker?”
I felt my face strain to not frown. We hadn’t done much talking when we’d hooked up last week. After I let her wash up in my bathroom, she’d come out of the door and hadn’t looked at Riley, who had been a few inches away from her. She’d tried to assure me that she was a dog lover, but it wasn’t so. Riley must’ve known it too and deemed that she wasn’t going to convince her she was a great pet and companion. I didn’t mind if a girl I was messing with didn’t care for animals, but I didn’t want her to try to be something she wasn’t. And Riley hadn’t hidden her dislike of her, because she’d stared me down after Jill had left.
“She needs to know that she can depend on me,” I simply said. I wanted to tell her that pussy took a backseat to Riley every day of the week, but that would be uncalled for.
Mariska came up to place empty plates on the kitchen worktop when Blanca signaled that my orders would be prepared in ten more minutes. I got up from my chair and gestured her to come outside. I wasn’t going to call her name or chase after her in the restaurant and I did appreciate that she came out to meet with me. She hadn’t wanted to talk to me two days ago after she and her friends had left Lasting Impressions. If she’d been alone, I think she would’ve flipped me the finger, but then she would’ve been announcing to everyone that she was angry with me. I wanted to think that she was nothing to me, but I’ve regretted my actions ever since I’d shamed her.
“You left Jill hanging in there.” She turned her head to the side, her expression darkened. “What is it, Hunter?”
“I wanna make sure we’re on the same page; I won’t talk to Beth or Chase about going down on you and I don’t want you to talk about it.” Mariska narrowed her gaze at me.
“Why would I talk about it?”
“If you get worked up or they say anything about me, you might say something. That’s—”
“You have an unbelievable amount of nerve coming to my job, making demands to speak to me during my lunch hour, and telling me what to do. Enough people are trying their hand at it. You don’t want to be one of those people, Hunter.” She stepped into my face, like she’d done when I’d first met her at the Anderson’s car dealership. Man, she was hot when she tried to control her voice and appear unruffled. “Since you have so many bright ideas, here’s a suggestion for you: make sure you don’t slip.” She threw me a pointed look. “And I don’t just mean with Jill and whomever else your fooling around with. Because the only reason I am affording you the time to talk to me is because you better never speak down to me again.” I watched as she almost lifted her arms up to push my chest, but, instead, she brought her fingers together. I actually would’ve liked it because I did like her hands on me. I wanted to promise that I’d do whatever I could to stay out of her life, but I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t even promise myself that I’d maintain my sobriety; a fact she was well aware of. “I don’t want half-ass apologies from you either. Don’t think about pulling the tricks you pulled on me with Jill.” Mariska moved away from me, the side of her mouth drawn down. “And don’t talk to me about this again. Unless you really do want me to feel pathetic about getting with a junkie.”
She marched back into La Caridad. I thought I’d talked to Mariska to fight for my friendship with Beth and with my brother Chase, but I’d really wanted to hear her say what she really thought about me. It’d make me think less about how beautiful she was and the sympathy she’d had for Ari and I. Nothing about craving just a taste of whiskey on the tip of my tongue and anticipating the glide down my throat made me invincible. Coke was another monster that I’d only feel the urge to mess with if I drank; it was my upper. And boy, did I feel down.
***
JILL HANDED ME THE bags, as Blanca helped the other waiters seat customers, when I came inside to get the food.
“Thanks,” I told Jill and glanced around the restaurant before I left. Mariska’s back faced me as she ate her lunch. I hadn’t checked to see if she’d gotten her nipples pierced, because I hadn’t wanted to stop looking at her face. I wanted her to hate me again. But why didn’t it make me feel good? Why did some part of me not want her to define me as an alcoholic and a junkie? If Annette didn’t drop by my apartment tonight, I’d be giving Jill a call.
“My offer still stands,” Jill said, undeterred that I’d left her mid-conversation a few minutes ago.
Mariska
I LIKED BLENDING IN among many of the customers here. After arguing with Hunter, I wanted to eat alone and go over my itinerary for the rest of the week in my head. Pete liked his cell phone a little too much, because I’d received three messages from him today. He knew that his phone was primarily for emergencies. He was allowed to talk to his friends on it when he didn’t have other things to do, like homework and chores, but receiving a photo of him smiling with his friends in one of the tie-dye shirts I’d given him sometime last year made me feel happy. I needed this pick me up after the hateful things I’d called Hunter. I just wished that I didn’t want to kiss him and pushed the daylights out of him too.
Jill set her plate of rice and beans on the table. She pulled the seat across from me and sat down. She didn’t say anything and the silence was bothering me. Normally, Jill told me about her upcoming student loan payment, or how she couldn’t wait to save up enough money and finally move out of her parent’s house. Sighing, I took the napkin from my lap and wiped my mouth, pondering if I’d get to finish my Cuban Avocado Salad or not.
“Jill.”
“Yeah?” She moved her rice and beans around the corners of the plate. Another thing she hadn’t done around me before.
“What’s wrong? You’re on a diet now?”
The corner of her lip twitched and she let out a shaky breath. “Me? On a diet?” She shook her head. “Not in this lifetime.” She drank some of her water and gazed at me. “I think Hunter showed up here for you.” Her tone was calm.
“I think he did too,” I acknowledged, guilt creeping up on me. I didn’t want to tell her that anything had happened between Hunter and I, but I couldn’t flat out lie to her either. In the beginning, I’d been truthful; Hunter and I hadn’t been friends and by no means were we friends now. “I really like working with you. We’ve been a team and I don’t want that to change. Something did happen between us—one time only. And it was a huge mistake. He assumed that I was going to tell my best friends.”
“You haven’t told them.” She raised her brow at me. “Would it bother you if I hooked up with Hunter again?”
I shook my head. “He means nothing to me,” I assured her.
“If you say so,” she remarked, “but if it does bother you—tell me, okay?”
“It wouldn’t—”
“Just do it.”
***
BETH CAME INTO OUR dorm room in a rush with her towel wrapped around her head and her robe on.
