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‘Tell me,’ she persisted. ‘What was it that kept you from sleeping?’
‘Just you.’
The look she turned on him from those golden eyes was so blatantly sceptical and yet tinged with a tiny hint of something that Nabil wanted to be fool enough to call interest glowing in the amber depths.
‘You expect me to believe that?’
‘It’s the...’
Unexpectedly the word failed him. He wanted to be able to assert that it was the truth and nothing but, but there was no way he was going to admit that bruised pride had had a part in his sleeplessness, as well as everything else.
The newly woken physical hunger that tormented his days, heated his nights, was bad enough but the realisation that he had allowed the shadows of the past to reach out and enfold him, just when he had thought that he was freeing himself from them, had stirred the mix to toxic proportions.
He had wanted to believe her—hell, deep in his soul he had known she was innocent of the black suspicions that had risen up between them. But it was the fact that he wanted it so much that had forced him to take a step back and reconsider. He had rushed into marriage with Sharmila on just that assumption. With Aziza he had to get it right or it would ruin both himself and his country.
‘You think I was happy to settle and sleep after that night?’ he demanded, going on to the attack to hide the restless, scrambled thoughts inside his head.
‘You were the one who told me I was to sleep alone,’ Aziza pointed out now, making him curse his memories and the fact that he couldn’t deny her accusation.
In his dreams—in the rare times of sleep he managed—he could still taste the intoxicating blend of sugar from the grapes and the provocation that was pure Aziza, and his hands still burned from the intimacy of the search she had subjected herself to. A search that had had nothing to do with calm common sense and everything that came from need and desire—a desire that was still frustrated. And that was only his fault.
Stiff-necked pride had stopped him from admitting the truth. That he had made a mistake from the first, and regretted it in less than the space of a heartbeat afterwards. Sharmila’s toxic legacy still lingered so heavily, throwing black shadows over everything he did, and he had to rid himself of it before he could make a move into the future he had planned for himself.
But at the same time, by keeping him from the burning sexual fulfilment that he had known was just waiting for him in this woman’s bed, it had opened up another personal form of hell that had tormented his nights and shadowed his days.
Had he waited too long? Had he pushed Aziza too hard so that she was too far away from him ever to win back?
‘I’m sorry, Aziza,’ he said softly and the quiet use of her name seemed to drag her back from wherever her thoughts had drifted to. He saw her blink just once, slowly and thoughtfully, and then she lifted her head and turned to face him.
‘I was never asleep either,’ she said, stunning him so that his eyes narrowed sharply.
‘What are you saying?’
‘What do you want me to say, sire?’ she challenged him, her chin coming up in the defiant way that always hit him right in the guts. ‘That I was only waiting for you to get those reports you asked for so that you would know it was safe to be with me? Did I have any choice? Don’t you think it would have been fairer—more reasonable—to check me out before you married me? So that we could have had our wedding night uninterrupted—in peace?’
‘Yes.’ He nodded slowly, never taking his eyes from her face.
A shake of her head sent the black silk of her hair flying, sliding over her face for a moment. The scent of its freshly washed softness caught on his senses, making his body ache. He could command her to come to him, he reflected. He could crook that finger again and insist that she come to him, as his wife, as his subject, but that was not how he wanted this. He wanted her to come to him of her own choice, her free will. He wanted her to hunger for him as much as he desired her, but he wanted her to crave him as a man, rather than a king. It was an odd feeling; one that made him feel strangely vulnerable in a way he had never known before.
‘So why didn’t you?’
‘I was a fool.’
Which one of them had moved? Aziza wondered. She knew she had taken a step forward, maybe two, unable to resist the invisible magnetic pull of his body on hers. But surely she hadn’t come so much closer to him as she was now, within touching reach, so that if she just put out a hand...
Her fingers tangled with Nabil’s, hard and warm, and a moment later she was pulled against him, the breath crashing from her lungs as she was crushed up against his chest. Her head went back, lifting her mouth to his, her eyes closing as she felt his lips take hers and she gave herself up to the sensation.
